Tarale @Tarale@computerfairi.es

Feeling that depressive urge to just pull back from all attempts to reach out to anyone, again, combined with that depressive tendency to feel like I have nothing worth saying.

No wonder I don't have any friends.

I can't remember the last time I did anything nice for *me*.

I am bad at radical acceptance

Gave the baby his first spicy food today, a cheese and spinach muffin with some cayenne pepper in it. He handled most of it well, then it got too much. Impressed with how he handled it though.

Oh my god, today was horrible, and I suspect it's just the beginning of the iceberg in what is likely to become a drawn out legal and plumbing problem.

I guess I know what I'm doing for 2018 then.

Tiny hard white dot on the boy's gum this morning

Teeeeeeeeeth

Well, it's hard to see the super blue blood moon because it's cloudy, but I had a look. I'm very tired. It's time for bed.

@lizardsquid Yeah, I figure I should stay up and have a peek, as it's pretty rare we have a super moon, blue moon, and total lunar eclipse at the same time: https://www.sbs.com.au/news/super-blue-blood-moon-clouds-may-cover-lunar-triple-treat-in-australia

@lizardsquid Thanks. I think sleep will help.

*is totally staying up for super blue blood moon*

>_>

@lizardsquid That would go a long way to solving the problem, yes. There's a tendency for a lot of people to jump on you for a half-formed idea.

But I'm finding the problem is still there with friends, who are not at all being unkind. Just kind of… a feeling of having my foot in my mouth all the time. Or of the words just being stuck in my throat.

Also, everyone is just so fucking angry

After all, it's been well over a year I've had sleep problems and "baby brain", between pregnancy and early childhood.

During that time I've also pulled away from more and more social interactions, especially online, as I've felt my communications get clumsier and stupider. I can't articulate what I want to say. Each failure to communicate well carries the fear of conflict or the sting of shame.

I'm having difficulty, recently, packaging my thoughts on… nearly anything… into a form I can use to communicate effectively with others.

I suspect this is partly because many of these thoughts are complex, and I don't have the time to properly consider them and distill them down.

But it also could be that I'm sleep deprived.

I really didn't want another Dundee flick, but I can handle a tourism ad

OH I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE RELIEVED TO HEAR SOMETHING IS FAKE

Look, I don't know why there's a new Crocodile Dundee flick, but I *would* prefer Hugh Jackman as PM.

My Instagram account is fast becoming a collection of baby-led weaning photos.

* baby with carrots
* baby figures out cherry tomatoes
* baby wearing peanut butter and gumming a baguette
* baby smooshing meatloaf into face

@lizardsquid yay! Enjoy your cheap biscuits! Pity the money didn't arrive earlier though.

It's days like this where I wonder if I'm losing my grip on reality.

Then I think about it a little, in the context of other things our government has done, and I realise this is perfectly in character.