the prog and the cbd hit at the same time, turning me into a wolf in the breakfast nook

re: overwhelmed anxiety dump 

nothing's wrong. these are the elements of the life I've made for myself, and they're good.

i just want to pause it all and lay down and awaken six months later without this feeling that i'm only two steps away from slipping on a wet rock and falling into the river and getting carried away

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overwhelmed anxiety dump 

there's so much going on.

i'm volunteering at a race tomorrow. then i have a 3-hour run. both events will likely be in heavy rain.

i just sold my Predator suit today, and i need to package it up in a box that's almost bigger than my car and ship it to the eastern United States. the proceeds will service some debt.

it's my period and there's a full moon coming.

it's TDOV and i don't really want to be seen as trans. i want to be seen as yellow eyes in the dark.

@mavica_again I can’t wait to graduate from female to whatever is next

New on the Secret Area: It's BlackOPS, a mod for Half-Life.

A mod that looks at the underutilized Black Ops soldiers from Opposing Force, with TWO (!) different variations.

Likes, shares, and comments appreciated, as always.

asecretarea.com/2023/03/30/mod

81. a random sad werewolf
82. a werewolf! it's got a passport! WHERE WILL IT GO?! (Philadelphia)
83. a skeleton explorer, where will she go?
84. wolf got buried in snow on it's birthday

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Mulling on the term "plural," and coincidentally a personae primer; -very- longtext, some kink talk 

@Inumo for what it’s worth, what you describe also fits fairly well with my experiences around my own lycanthropy. I have intellectualized a lot of how I interact with my wolf-monster-self, including using very intentional tools like PluralKit on Discord, but the wolf also manifests in me in ways that are organic and spontaneous. I like being surprised by it!

Mulling on the term "plural," and coincidentally a personae primer; -very- longtext, some kink talk 

@Inumo I enjoyed reading this, and I appreciate the view on your experience of plurality. Someone important in my life is plural, and from the outside, its experience seems similar enough to yours that you’ve helped illuminate new angles of understanding for me. Or at least new ways of interacting with it and its system.

due to some food mistakes made last night i am feeling extra bitchy today. extremely tempted to say unkind things about werewolf character design choices that i dislike, or complain about local vendors never calling me back. instead I'll just say: fuck the Yankees

Asserting that I am the Howard Moon of the team and receiving polite indifference in return. Classic Howard stuff

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Trying and failing to get a Mighty Boosh riff going in the work chat

intrustive thought ~ 

i want to bite my hand really hard and feel fangs, not human teeth

guys always love to telling people about" Machine Learning"
but they do not care of, "Machine Yearning"

Transmedicalism, like all other forms of cishumanism, commits the fallacy of assuming that there's a 100% Normal Human™, and that the goal of medicine is to make all humans into this platonic form. In doing so, it rejects morphological freedom and precludes the possibility of using the tools of medicine to make humans into something better or more diverse than what society considers normal.

Let's just say, there's a reason why transhumanists were among the first to call out transmedicalism.

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