Aura V. @auravulpes@computerfairi.es

I'd try using texi2latex, but that's no longer maintained, it's not in the ports tree, and I'm not about to fight with getting it running just to have to correct a lot of its output. I tried doing texi2db followed by db2latex, but that crashed. So, I guess I'm doing this manually.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

So, a while back, I started writing a CS textbook using texinfo. Recently, I decided to try switching to roff. I was going to switch back to texinfo, but the first chapter is a *lot* of maths, and I don't know of any way to use the amsmath package in texinfo easily. So, now it's time to start rewriting this textbook *again* in LaTeX.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Have I mentioned I barely have the spoons to work on this?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

"Le conquest of le bread...Kropotkin was French, right?"

I mean, the entire thing's a bit surreal. Why was I fighting her? Why were Canelo and GGG there? Why were they in high school? Why that other classmate of mine at the table with us? Why did Canelo give me a reddit url of a user whose name was just a number? My dreams are a fucking trip.

This is why I don't believe in any of that "dreams are messages"/"dreams have meaning" bullshit, people. This is why.

And I would note that that bit about me and that classmate is actually true. We did get some crap from other classmates with regards to which of us was smarter. It all just connects together in weird ways, what with that moment, but me knocking her out earlier in the dream.

One of the most memorable moments was at that table. For some reason, Canelo and GGG were younger than me and in high school, but were still themselves, and I remember yelling at this classmate of mine about how hard me and the classmate I fought earlier in the dream had it in high school just over which of us was smarter, so imagine how bad it must be for those two having to deal with world champion stuffs.

So, the other day, I told you about having a dream in which I knocked out Canelo Alvarez. Last night, the boxing dreams returned, this time featuring me fighting a former classmate of mine and knocking her out (making my dream record 2-0 with 2 knockouts now); sat at a table with Canelo, Golovkin, and a different former classmate of mine and talked; had Canelo give me a reddit URL with what he thought would be a good workout for me; and did some other boxing-related stuff.

Just a reminder for you that this image exists, in case you wanna mix up your repertoire of images to respond to terfs with.
(Attribution unknown, but it's not mine)

Okay, but, legit, please don't take my (delayed) calls to violence seriously. I'm just tired and scared and lashing out in one of the few ways I know how, which is a bizarre mix of humour and violence. I'm not saying violence is never an option, but I'm just some random person on the internet who doesn't really know anything about politics. You shouldn't take my calls to anything politics related seriously, much less violence.

Honestly, if I wasn't going for the "I'm totally not advocating violence, but I want to punch Trump in the face" angle, I could plausibly try to pass this off as "oh, replace the milkshakes with bricks, that way we can build structures that will help people as we deal with creeping fascism uwu" or something, but, let's face it. I'm not someone you should listen to, and I probably was insinuating something violent. Maybe. If I was that kinda person, you know

In fact, given everything I've gone through today mentally, I may not be in the best state of mind. Maybe don't listen to me *if* I was calling for violence, which again, I would like to emphasize, I'm totally not.

To be fair, I've not done *anything* to resist Trump due to overriding mental issues and a lack of information on options, so maybe I'm not someone you should listen to, especially when it comes to what we should do if Trump wins in 2020...

The US 2020 election is pretty much the last hope at this point. If Bernie gets in (or, hell, at this point I'll take Biden), things aren't all bleak, especially if Dems can win a majority in both houses. If Trump gets reelected, particularly if the Dems also lose their majority in the House and fail to take the Senate, it's time to replace the milkshakes with far more...lethal...projectiles

P.P.S. I also left out some of the obvious self-care tips. Make sure you're eating well, drinking enough water, are taking your meds and taking them *consistently*. The absolute basics. *Definitely* make sure you're doing those.

P.S. And, yes, of course we need to dismantle all these oppressive systems. But you can't do that if you're stressed out, burned out, worn out. You can't fight if you're in bad shape. You'll get knocked out the moment the fight starts. You need to keep yourself in shape if you want to have any chance of getting through this, much less winning. So keep yourself well taken care of, so you can better care for others.

And remember:
You can't help others until you care for yourself. If you're burned out and worn thin, how are you supposed to help anyone else? It's okay to take some time to focus on caring for yourself. It's necessary, even.

And remember, through this all, I still love you and I want you to be well. Things may look grim, but we can get through this, one step at a time.

Love,
Kat 💗

Something else that may help you is journaling. You might grab a spare spiral notebook, or just create a folder on your desktop or in your documents, where you can just write down thoughts. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. It can literally just be a text file where you ramble on about whatever's on your mind. That's okay, as long as it helps you.

Recognize your limits. Sometimes, you need to push limits to improve yourself. Other times, you need to back off from a limit to avoid harm. If you're getting too close to reaching a limit, don't be afraid to do what it takes to back away from it.

Try to relax. You won't be thinking as clearly if you're constantly tense. Relax so your brain can work better to figure out what's next. Take a hot bath, or a stroll. Get a hobby you enjoy.