Aura V. @auravulpes@computerfairi.es

Currently sitting in the hospital lobby munching on snack mix

AMA

Wubadubadubaduba wubadubadubaduba
wubadubadubaduba ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0yM97gsjLM

Oh geez, help. I've been here for 2 weeks and they already trust me to show another new hire how things go around here.

Anyways, if you want to read those, they're from Extraordinary Cases in Emergency Medicine by Douglas Brunette, specifically Chapter 10, "Intriguing"

That chapter also features someone spreading weed on a finger for pain relief (it didn't work, but they did let him keep the weed), an impromptu nose piercing with a bullet (don't run towards the gunshots!), a teen putting lemonade in a urine test cup ("the lemonade was sterile, and the pregnancy test was negative"), and quote "I'm not sexually active, I'm married" (which I'm not entirely sure how to interpret)

Key learning points

• Paruresis is a psychiatric condition that describes a social phobia of urinating in public bathrooms.
• This patient did not have paruresis.

If this sorta stuff is what I have to look forward to doing EM, damn is it gonna be a wild ride.

Oh geez, the next case has a figure with caption "Verbatim response of a patient who was asked why he urinated on three walls of his examination room"

The reason? He was "marking his territory."

The outcome is also intriguing: "We referred the patient to the OB/GYN clinic for her 'depo shot,' but we did not provide her with a 'panic attack.'"

Patient request from an emergency medicine casebook I'm reading: "I want a depo shot and a panic attack."

But in all seriousness, I can't say I like doing them. I'm terrified I'm going to, like, break the baby's leg or something. They're so small and I'm, well, not.

Had to do training today on newborn screens and, like, yeesh. That's how humans start life? So noisy...

So, in phlebotomy, we use two different needles. Straight needles attach directly to the hub, while butterflies have some tubing between needle and hub.

Anyway, I went out with a phlebotomist who I've not really worked with just now, and when he asked if I was "comfortable with straights", I had to stop myself for reasons you can probably guess

I get daily emails from ASCP with lab news and such, and today's led with that. It's great, one of the sources had a remark about how it wasn't expected to increased transmission rates. Not because the new guidance is safe, mind you. Because we're already letting it run rampant anyways. It's hard to let it run more rampant. We're really doing a just brilliant job with public health, huh? /s

Afterwards, my trainer made a remark about how I'd probably never drawn that many before and I was just like "Oh, no. I've drawn more. That wasn't even close."

Today, I drew 7 tubes from a patient. Not the most I've ever drawn, but he was looking at them and asked me if he could take a photo. It is a pretty astonishing amount. I told him yes and he's just looking at them like "wow!".

(Incidentally, the most I've ever drawn was, like, 15. There were more light blues in that set then there were total tubes in this draw!)

Crocker voice "Welcome to tiny train world, Timmy. Maybe you'll be able to catch one if you use your FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

(I know who he is. I just haven't done the Fontaine quests.)

Oh, has it? Has it really?

Uh...who are you?