jk I'm all about that bread @danishcookies@computerfairi.es

when your a italian in a cramped kitchen preparing dips for a small gathering of friends

"eyyyy im guaccing here"

@Gaynebula @queerchangeling

@Gaynebula You know why

Ok Google why the FUCK do I have a crush on Bowser and why do so many fellow gays(TM) agree with me

greasing myself up and sliding around my living room floor in a pile of oil, carpe diem motherfuckr

i'm gnot a gnelf... i'm gnot a gnoblin... i'm gnonbinary!

Wow just heard about this Goatse thing and uh wow

@danishcookies @deathsentence Big fat ribcages are still in, I see.

they don't call me the piss king of ass mountain for nothing

So if you're ever on jury duty and think the law is unfair, just fuckign say 'not guilty' even if they broke that unfair law, nobody can stop you and a hung jury = free to walk. Or if you just want to give a 'fuck you' to the cops who put all that work into building a case.

Important legal reminder: if you are on jury duty, you can always find the defendant not guilty regardless of how good the evidence against them is, and you cannot be punished for this in any way. The law specifically allows it, even though prosecutors and judges want you to think you must find people guilty if the evidence is strong enough.

It's worth noting, however, that if they think you are planning to do this they will not put you on the jury, so just shut ur mouth about it, mmkay?

@lynnesbian @danishcookies @CornishRepublicanArmy (i am frantically refreshing)