jk I'm all about that bread @danishcookies@computerfairi.es

for real can we oppress pewdiepie stans

literally just closed mastodon, opened a new tab, and reopened mastodon

I dont think monogamous people really get it. I could "choose" to be monogamous the same way I could choose to live my life in the closet, pretending to be straight and cis. It would be terrible, and I would be suicidal if I made that choice. But I technically do choose to be openly queer.

And I technically choose to be polyamorous, because the alternative is horrible. Its living in a closet to deny that I love multiple people at once and desire deep, intimate relationships with many people.

Makes me happy when people talk about emotional regulation and dealing with feelings in a healthy way. That's great!

You know. I'm tired of engaging in discussions with queer exclusionists. Instead of having these conversations, I could bring awareness to the struggles that polyamorous people face. From now on, I'll write something about that instead of arguing for our right to exist near LGBT's.

@carlygayjepsen
Let's talk "somewhat frowned upon."
- Monogamy has a long history of being used for the posession of women and afabs (in case you forgot the institution you are defending)
- People have been killed for deviation from it. Literally. For centuries.
- Legally incapable of recognition or rights.
- Seen as inherently sexual and deviant, ergo "dangerous" to children and grounds for family removal.
- Colonialist (western)
@danishcookies

@carlygayjepsen
Shitty Opinion: that there's some kind of cut off around which subcommunities can be part of a larger resistance community.

@carlygayjepsen
Valid opinion: there needs to be more conversations about the diversity in queer experiences so that each respective community in the conglomerate respect each other accordingly-- like cis gay men dealing with their misogyny, cis gays and lesbians dealing with their transphobia, and trans and ace people understanding the nuances and pitfalls of "passing" in various ways.

You are not helping "lgbt+ polyam" people by dismissing their experiences in polyamorous as "not inherently queer". If anything you'll just alienate them more. @loptr_punk - 2/2

@carlygayjepsen@anarchism.space
What is even the point of trying to boil everything down into some gender and orientation essentialism? How would this form of exlusionism help the well being of the community at all? The queerness these people in polyarmourous or queerplatonic relationships is unique and can't be described in precriptivist terms - 1/2

@carlygayjepsen
Listen there is no such thing as non-lgbt polyam people. There's no such thing as cishet aces. Bisexual people are not gay or straight based on one partner they date. You don't need to have a sexuality grounded in the interaction of sex organs. You don't need to have a relationship grounded in heteromonogamous values of exclusive ownership over another human being.

@carlygayjepsen
I feel like you're scrounging for a justification on your stance now; but also, this seems like it ties into your rejection of the SAM. Imagine how many LGB relationships wouldn't be considered LGB if you consistently applied this logic that they must all be involved in whatever way you're trying to imply here.

@carlygayjepsen@anarchism.space The relationship itself is queer and still face persecution from the heteronormative power structure. Also, don't forget the "+" in "LGBTQ+"

@carlygayjepsen
That said, consider the smallest polyam relationship you can think of: a triad. In the binary society, at least one of the partners in that triad is going to be LGB.

@carlygayjepsen
Much like you previously expressed to me how your romantic and sexual attraction feel inseparable from each other to you, I know plenty of polyam people for whom queerness and polyamoury are inseparable. Similarly, kink and queerness are inseparable to a ton of people.

@carlygayjepsen
1. Queerplatonic is a platonic partnership. Functions as a romantic relationship but is not romantic

2. So we're arriving at the infamous "heterosexual polycule" argument and as I mentioned in another reply to you, at least one person in a triad is bisexual in the eyes of binary, cis bioessentialist society. Shading the entire relationship by how a cis man might try to maintain a toxic identity in it is... gross.

@danishcookies

@carlygayjepsen@anarchism.space
Truscum rhetoric and ideology stretches much further than what they claim to be. They constantly spread gatekeeping ideas into young people and eat up after TERFs.

@carlygayjepsen@anarchism.space It is fair to say that anything different from cishetnormative society is innately queer. That's literally why the community was made in the first place. Oppression Olympics is a toxic ideology that has been used to no end to exclude various groups of people, including non-binary people, and it itself is a form of oppression and erasure. Materially saying, it's a shitty idea that does not help the queer community one bit.

@carlygayjepsen@anarchism.space
I have to warn you that you are treading dangerously into the truscum/transmed territory