jk I'm all about that bread @danishcookies@computerfairi.es

Afraid of going back on Tumblr... I fear they will persecute me for my "Bong presenting nipples"...

UFB (unidentified flying bastard)

If i look away for five seconds I feel like I’m gonna miss at least the birth of two memes and the death of one

a lot of you think you can compare to my godhood

three tips to help you relieve stress:
- pet cats
- smooch cats
- tell cats you love them

hey my prof marc read a story w mana in it and didn’t know what mana meant anyway please appreciate this super specific meme

i open my mouth to speak
no words come out
only toots

hatsune miku sucked my dick in a toriel cosplay and stole my wallet

Cishet man: "I don't understand why women do strength training??? Who would that appeal to???"

Me, imagining being carried in the arms of a powerful butch woman: 😍😍😍

Technically, all omnivores are bi

Surfs up! *runs with a surfboard into lava and dies*

I always enjoy a good

When ppl retoot me

names 2 call ur followers
- tooters
-tootuals
-tootyfrooties
-dumbass clowns

you activated my trap card: dick magic

anyone who says reblogging instead of the superior retooting is banned blocked and deleted

if youre blonde, rich, have big boobs and like wonderbread unfollow me rn

pig is a gender neutral word for policeman or policewoman

homophobes are so weird like”I’M not fucking that hot guy over there so NO ONE ELSE CAN”