tanuki~ @heytanuki@computerfairi.es

it's what's for lunch! I'm having a lot of it!!!

my blood sugar medication ran out and being off it makes me jittery even though the effect is minimal at this point. I am about to get some lab work to see if I even need it anymore but this might be the last of it, it just takes a couple days to adjust to this

concentration levels = 🥄🥄/5
executive energy = 🥄/5
mood = -(🥄)
tanukiness = ★★★★★★★★

ok I just threw in that last line for fun but it's affirming and emboldening

so i have a plan to eventually get something cool going on tanuk.io. but what if it was an activitypub-integrated posty thing? i could put writings and art and whatever on it. that could be cool.

monday was a Very Good Pronouns Day.

today was EUUUGHHH. i feel gross because i didn't stand up for myself. but i was in a room where i'm privately out to only half the people and the other half are cishet(-ish) guys, i was intimidated.

and i was thinking, where are my allies? they're waiting on me to say something, and i'm a sleep-deprived nuki blorp.

tomorrow: nonbinary support group meeting. let's PROCESS. bringing a cool ENBYFREN. it'll be GR8/8.

if anyone is looking for a credible takedown of the cited ROGD study: https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2018/2/20/rapid-onset-gender-dysphoria-biased-junk-science

the tldr: participants were selected from sites that foster anti-trans viewpoints.

I've gotta stop being an angry enby and go be a productive enby. bleah.

it hurts to know that people will read this and go, "oh yeah, definitely true, look at the trend. there CAN'T be this many transes."

and one of them will say to someone, "you're not trans, you just saw a video and have a need to fit in and you think this is going to work. you need to take this seriously." and set their confidence and self-realization back by who knows how long. a month. a year. ten years.

I'm only angry because I fight myself more than anyone.

ugh I hate to keep replying to myself, but this popping up in a news feed made me feel awful and invalid this morning. til I said, I know what I feel, and also the "research" in here is nil.

real research has data, it cites credible sources. the design of the only study the article cites is not mentioned.

there's total lack of empathy. it uses words like "transgenderism." it focuses on the young, & appeals to emotions with a thin veneer of vague logic.

the writer has detransitioned. that's valid, if someone feels they need to. but that's an anecdote and not a rule, and without empathy for subjective experiences we may not share, we are trapped by our own experience.

YouTube isn't a flawless source, but it was one of the places I found resonance and made peace with three decades of turbulence. my life is better. I'm 37, I'm not a kid.

the onset only looks rapid from the outside!

there's a bad article from thefederalist about the "social contagion" of ROGD. the writer claims to have read "tens of thousands" (how?) of media reports that back up a study on ROGD.

the findings written about are all "They learned it from YouTube!"

media reports are not science. media reports ABOUT science are oversimplified and narrow. anecdotes are not data.

listen to trans people. believe trans people.

ugh, this BS.

well, I did sleep 30 minutes and I'm at work now so

slumbern't

sleeping issues are queer culture

me: i would like to Sleep

brain: let's have a mindblowing personal epiphany

no: nooooooOOOOO

brain: trust me this is gonna be totally worth it at 6 am

me: that's in three hours

brain: ??? ????

my laptop hopefully says: hello this is a very dangerous person to society and you should definitely be friends with them

i had too much busywork to do and drawing but,

friendo #1 asked, “isn’t they/them dehumanizing?”

answer paraphrased: no, it’s a personal pronoun, that you use for a person. just because in the singular sense it can mean “an unknown person” or “person of unknown gender” doesn’t really remove the personhood of it.

maybe my “real” pronouns are yet to be discovered, sleeping in the earth, to be accidentally mined and ▣■▢/▣▢▓ is unleashed on the world

til then, there’s they/them, and i feel good!

okay so i re-came-out to a friend, because they just weren’t getting my pronouns, but after a meandering talk about social expectations and the background radiation of dysphoria, they got it.

hokay!

also another friend asked what i wanted to be called and i’m like “tanuki, they/them” and he’s like “but that’s your furry name?” and i’m like “it’s my name tho”

this friend got it too.

thanks world, you’re getting there!

i made a single-user twitter thread reader a while back, just to have a no-distraction way to view a stream of thoughts (no one else’s comments, nothing else)

i’m happy to say that thanks to people being awesome, gonna need to do the same for masto =9

hmmm, Big Butt Energy ...

this is Beemer, he’s a sleepy corgo

bosses people around with a squishable iron booper

10000/10 doggo, am petting currently

resnoot if you support snoutposting