maple "mavica" syrup [6502] @mavica_again@computerfairi.es

the models i have as of today are:
- Canon Typestar 10-II, thermal printing head, sadly a later cost-cut model that's not too exciting but works perfectly
- Panasonic Penwriter P400C, pen plotter head, serial interface, very exciting and needs some restoration

i can't believe i now own two different portable electric typewriters with vastly different methods of printing, i blame @AkBKukU@twitter.com's video on this Brother model for making me wanting one in the first place

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ae0tZ4uqwDY

sadly i gotta go back to work now so i can't play with this right now but gosh i'm excited!

i have a plotter! i can finally be part of #plottertwitter !

Panasonic Penwriter P400C, uses ALPS DPG-1302 plotter mechanism. keyboard needs repairs, original pens mostly dried up but the green still works! has RS-232 built-in so can be controlled from modern devices thru serial

"live and let live" works as a personal policy, not as a community one, especially if it doesn't enforce accountability

damned if i do damned if i fucking don't

of course i don't expect this from every single person randomly following me but if we're *mutuals* and you have a *reason* you're not able to follow my work the same way to publicly follow the work of much more famous people than me, i'd like to know what i'm doing wrong

i'm fully aware this kind of "neediness" is what made my exes & ex-friends perpetuate a gaslight abt me being an abuser but i don't think it's unreasonable to have abandonment issues to a breaking point when uwu good vibes people keep fake-preaching "it's ok to need attention"

i'm just going to delete all these tweets in the morning anyway as usual whenever i have a very real and sensible breakdown anyway because i need to keep up the ~*~status quo~*~ so who gives a shit.

if your excuse is "well you locked replies to this thread because you're not following me", my DMs are wide open for message requests from non-followers if you want to reach out. i'm not much for words right now, but knowing someone gives a damn helps

and if you're going to silently unfollow me for having feelings i'd rather air out rather than bottle up and cause more problems in the long run, instead of actually discussing things with me whether they're positive or negative, you have less courage than i have right now

i'm purposefully using the word mutuals here because my sensory input for parasocial relationships is warped enough that i don't know what a friend is anymore and i don't believe i have any

if you just can't give me attention but give others attention, i guess i'd kinda like something to signal that instead of just having to play the guessing game of "is this person following me on mute"

i'm tired of not being a part of anything cool my mutuals are doing

tired of feeling like i live on the outside of everything. i'm gonna subtweet but i'm tired of mutuals fawning over vtubers who won't ever know them but never show up to my vtuber streams. i want more attention. i'm not "making threats" for attention, i'm just verbalising my mood

i'm tired of being given space. that's not help.

and if it's all the same to you, yes, begrudgingly i do have a therapist thank you very much. it doesn't help the core issue.