Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@batterpunts the cats have all learned that the food there isn't for them, as far as any other smol wild critters they're also welcome

People who come on to a platform, ignore the rules, get booted off, and then complain about it elsewhere are the social media equivalent of sovereign citizens

@ratbaby "THE MODS HAVE GOLD FRINGES ON THEM THEY CAN'T ENFORCE RULES ON ME!"

@Jo damn europeans, coming over here, doing the jobs we don't want to do, providing funding for infrastructure, subsidising our farmers

makes me sick

@Liophu if we tar and feather them before loading them into the trebuchet do you think they'll go further?

as if to prove that I'm not the only daft sod in my family, my dad made a little sign for the hedgehog cafe

@maple gotta get all them pixels in there

While masto admins are conceptually able to see your DMs in the database, I'm pretty sure nobody knows how it works well enough to actually do so

@FerdiZ no, just the latest influx of twitter celebs

Welcome twitter "celebrities"

Quick reminder, you ain't famous here, nobody cares about your BRAND, follow the same etiquette as the rest of us, this ain't twitter

Now enjoy your time here

@colon_three petition to remove the caps lock key and put a Ctrl key there LIKE THERE FUCKING SHOULD BE

@Jo to be fair to them a child singing in the middle of a bunch of charred corpses does sound a lot like a prelude to weird freaky stuff nobody wants anything to do with

If you ever see two hedgehogs closely circling each other with one of them making repeated huffing noises, don't worry, they're not fighting, that's just their little mating dance

@Jo fuckin' 'ell, didn't know they were that hard up for cash

'tis the hedgie hour

@maple soff lovely robo girl squirrel bun

*pets*

You see where there was a little "SHOW MORE" button just there that you pressed to see the rest of this? That's a content warning (or CW)

You use those whenever you want to make a toot (stop giggling at the back, we know, that's what it's called, get over it) that mentions something that other people might not want to see

Stuff like politics (it's exhausting), drugs, NSFW stuff, health discussions, selfies, and so on

That's a non-exhaustive list, just be considerate

@garbados don't correct them, this being a witch hunt would mean we can burn them at the stake

(which didn't happen much if at all but they're obviously not that concerned about historical accuracy)