Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

oh climate change isn't a big deal, once the humans go extinct the octopus shall inherit the earth! MUAHAHAHAHA

"uh, sam, they're acidifying the oceans as well"

...FUCK

Convicted for Handling Salmon in Suspicious Circumstances

@maple the Salmon Act 1986 includes a provision making it illegal to "handle salmon in suspicious circumstances"

actually maybe rescind that "unpaid" bit, they did send me a very nice bag of swag as an apology for their mistake

If you're in the UK and in the market for a watch have a look at what Page and Cooper have and maybe buy from them

Their customer service is really quite good

Had a small problem on an order I made but they fixed it up nice and quickly with the minimum of fuss

the fediverse is not a big truck, it's a series of cubes

seriously what the fuck fediverse

@signalstation a load of them don't even ask the gods if they want to come here

the number of times I've seen something appear through a tear in reality and get really miffed because it was watching eldritch netflix and didn't want to be disturbed

Damn, I was at the supermarket earlier and completely forgot to get myself a caterpillar cake

@maple @noelle remind me of the babe

@maple @noelle you do!

@maple @noelle the power of voodoo

@noelle damnit ellie

I used to work as a bartender, which meant that when it was 00:01 on my birthday my boss told me "you're off shift, go get drunk"

This is a habit I've continued to this day

Ah, that's probably more bourbon than was entirely necessary for my birthday, I should probably drink a fair amount of water now

@natalie@masto.ninja @maple 👀

@maple

only on the fediverse could we refer to our gender as HTTP status codes and still be completely understood