Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

Hawkeye didn't really intend to get a mohawk but his barber was mid-haircut when snapped and he had to improvise

@Taweret@octodon.social @Jo suddenly the enterprise is filled with spleens

@minimalist_technician@mastodon.social for the short version, it's basically just stab the cunt a bunch of times

failing that, hit the cunt with anything else you've got handy

Newt0n: I invented calculus!

[i]Leibniz is typing...[/i]

I want some of these keycaps

It'd be like high-fiving @maple with every keypress

Found a good deal for the SCP foundation

@Gargron midi version of Who Are You? by The Who on autoplay

"should we get the 6 or 9 pack of nuggets?"
"DIVISIONNN! CLEAR THE LOBBIES!"

New favourite mental image:

John Bercow, Speaker of the House of Commons, retired from his position and working in a maccy d's drive through

"Hello, may I take your ORDERRRRRRRRRR?"

apparently Bristol is "the cocaine capital of europe"

YAY! WE WON SOMETHING!

@sydneyfalk always remember, friendly fire isn't friendly

@sydneyfalk releasing a pack of raptors in the house of commons would certainly get them to pick up the pace a bit

@sydneyfalk now that you mention it, yes, that would also be good

@johnrandom nobody knows

really, we have no idea

I know "tradition" and all that but they could seriously speed this shit up by having little buttons to push or something

@rainwarrior aaaaa cute small boxy machine!

@Jo I can certainly see you yelling "YOU HAVE U-ED YOUR LAST WU" while taking the angle grinder to stuff

in a cabinet meeting, Theresa May raised concerns about the frequency and scale of leaks from Cabinet

The reason we know she raised these concerns already is that, you guessed it, someone in Cabinet leaked it