Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

"They say that a dog is a man's best friend

They also say that a diamond is a woman's best friend

But my friend is non-binary

So I got them a pet rock"
~ Benny Feldman

In the future, all that remains from our time is advertising jingles

History lecturer: We still don't know what these creatures known as "wa-shing masheens" were and why they should survive longer in the presence of someone or something named "cal-gon"

I used to live with an Australian so whenever I hear the word "milo" I immediately think "delicious chocolate" and then 99 times out of 100 I'm disappointed to learn it's actually referring to that yiannopolous prick

Stuff I want Sinn to make:

Something with a true gmt function and a two-tone 24-hour bezel, would probably look really cool in the 103 case

Something with an ETA 988.333 or similar ana-digi movement, preferably with upgraded battery life and HYDRO

If Puerto Rico becomes a state will people have to wander around the US adding stars to the n-teen billion flags y'all have?

I'm a blanket octopus

Not of the species blanket octopus, I'm just a regular common octopus who happens to hand out blankets all the time

D&D session where you're all mimics trying to murder the party of adventurers that are carrying you around without arousing the suspicion of any of them

do I want some anomalous garden furniture?

David Suchet is the best Poirot

The standard has a theoretical max capacity of 128TB

Yes, 128 TERABYTES. In an SD card

Hey @maple they're making some new snacks for you!

https://www.techpowerup.com/245534/sd-express-is-a-new-memory-card-standard-that-leverages-pcie-and-nvme

yep

shit's fucked over there

Why are all these football players fighting over the ball?

The world cup has lots of money, surely they can supply one each

We have a... wildfire? In the UK?

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/jun/27/manchester-moorland-fire-declared-a-major-incident-by-police

That does not usually happen