Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

BOOST FOR...

actually it's just a picture of a Boost

my gender is: No such file or directory

If there are any #brands that want me to shill your product, please send me a crate of it and I might shill for you

(I won't)

(Unless you're Sinn, I will shill the shit out of Sinn watches from now 'til eternity)

Got a flyer for Domino's Pizza through the post

Why the hell does anyone buy these things?

A medium pizza costs 14/15 quid.

A MEDIUM

For the USAians that's 18/19 bucks for a medium pizza

I know there isn't much of the demo that would buy a rolex around here (and if there is stop hoarding all the money), but bears stating regardless

Don't bother buying a Rolex (unless you really really want one)

Other companies make cooler watches for far less money and you don't even have to sit on a waiting list for months to get one

People who come on to a platform, ignore the rules, get booted off, and then complain about it elsewhere are the social media equivalent of sovereign citizens

as if to prove that I'm not the only daft sod in my family, my dad made a little sign for the hedgehog cafe

While masto admins are conceptually able to see your DMs in the database, I'm pretty sure nobody knows how it works well enough to actually do so

Welcome twitter "celebrities"

Quick reminder, you ain't famous here, nobody cares about your BRAND, follow the same etiquette as the rest of us, this ain't twitter

Now enjoy your time here

If you ever see two hedgehogs closely circling each other with one of them making repeated huffing noises, don't worry, they're not fighting, that's just their little mating dance

'tis the hedgie hour

You see where there was a little "SHOW MORE" button just there that you pressed to see the rest of this? That's a content warning (or CW)

You use those whenever you want to make a toot (stop giggling at the back, we know, that's what it's called, get over it) that mentions something that other people might not want to see

Stuff like politics (it's exhausting), drugs, NSFW stuff, health discussions, selfies, and so on

That's a non-exhaustive list, just be considerate

Might be an idea to phase out the phrase "bad actor" in security circles

'cause your average person will read that and just think "Why the hell does Kevin Sorbo want to read my emails?"

BAE Systems is nowhere near as nice and lovey a company than the name would imply

I mean, I like chocolate bars with a soft coconut filling covered in milk chocolate as much as the next enby, but I'm not sure I'd set open source development goals for them

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bounty_(chocolate_bar) for those not lucky enough to know what a Bounty bar is)

@wilw would you be so kind as to cw tag your politics please, we do that here

but can wil wheaton find lance ulanoff on mastodon?

I've been on masto just long enough that someone can mention "spyro" and I have no idea if they're talking about the dragon or just misspelling the stuff that makes you crave salt