Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@maple I went and got you some snacks

Come join https://computerfairi.es !

As far as I can tell the only instance with an animated boing ball emojo!

@maple we have a boingball now!

Bored of pickles but still want to shovel vast quantities of salt into your body?

Try Marmite, the sticky, yeasty, salty substance you can put on toast!

Yet more information that Rolex are completely on their usual bullshit

https://www.reddit.com/r/Watches/comments/9ho5pz/rolex_submariner_is_this_true/

Stainless steel sports Rolex watches are very much in demand, Rolex don't make enough of them to satisfy demand so they can market them as "exclusive", so now there are years long waiting lists which you can only get on if you buy the less in demand Rolexes, this results in a massive grey market for them which Rolex hate so ADs keep the warranty cards for a year

yeah, I get why y'all call that type of food gyros or shawarma instead of döner

I've just realised that "come to my party, we've got delicious döner meat!" would mean something very different in the USA than it would in Europe

huh, apparently you can be angry while eating ice cream

I have no idea what today's discourse is about and I'd very much like to keep it that way please

octopus wants soff fuzzy pyjamas

there has to be somewhere that stocks pyjamas with 8 arms

May has said that a second referendum would "destroy trust in politicians"

Uh... who's going to tell her?

YARR! IT BE TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY ME HEARTIES

E'en though this accent only be associated wi' pirates 'cause Robert Newton decide t' use it in film an' it really be wes' coun'ry farmerrr

Since all the gun people keep insisting that "the right to keep and bear arms shall not be restricted in any way whatsoever because a 200 year old piece of paper says so"...

constitution doesn't say anything about bullets does it?

fantastic beeps and where to find them

name for @maple's album of potterverse related music

With brexit being a bit of a shambles, the south west has decided to secede from the UK

All rise for the south west national anthem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6V2TxJJ_bI

okay, yeah, definitely have to move the opening time for the hedgehog cafe to half seven

had two of them queuing up outside!

gofundme to send @maple and I to SPACE so we can bartend on the ISS

Instead of bullshit terms like "light vanilla" makeup should be sold by CMYK values to make everything easier

Thus spake the octopus

first hedgehog of the night at 19:45

opened the door to put the food out and saw a hedgehog sitting there as if saying "give me foooood!"

I NEED ONE OF THESE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyD7FMwhwxc

IT'S A VR BANHAMMER