Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

there are ongoing arguments as to if the black dial, blue bezel is to be called the Cookie Monster or the Grover

the new green bezel submariner has a larger face and smaller "ears" (lugs)

some smartarses are already calling it the "Rolex Shrek" and I approve

oh, they've got new oyster perpetuals too

they've dropped the 39mm version and replaced it with a 41mm

some nice dials in silver, black, or blue

and a number of godawful dials in other colours

oh, and the gold skydweller is now available on a rubber strap

what schrodinger meant: haha obviously this is a ridiculous interpretation

what everyone heard: ZOMBIE CAT! WOO!

Rolex releases have been... uh... released

subs, new 41mm case that looks almost identical to the old one

7 of them total, come with a new movement

lug width is now 21mm because fuck putting it on widely available aftermarket straps I guess

need for speed: hot fursuit

"circa" is a good word

"ah, it's circa 1850's I believe" sounds so much better than "it's from like, 1850's-ish or summat?"

octopus has got covered in plant guts

garden looks a bit more like a garden than it did

octopus is tired now

fuck's sake fedi

if the plural of ox is oxen then the plural of brined salmon is loxen

NEW! FOR GAMERS! SHC LEDS!

That's right, Silver, Hazel, and Cyan!

Do they go together to make cool colours? No! BUT THEY'RE ALL ONE LETTER MORE THAN YOUR STANDARD PEDESTRIAN RGB!

I'm expecting a blue bezel and dial submariner with either no date, or a new movement

it could conceivably be both but that's more innovation than I've come to expect from modern rolex

Rolex have announced that they're announcing something on the 1st of september

place your bets now on how minor a change it is to one of their existing models and how long the waitlist's going to be by lunchtime

Well this is delightful

The S.U.F. Helsinki Sarpaneva x Moomin

It's got a multi-layered dial with moomintroll on there! And the background is painted with multi-coloured superluminova so it glows wonderfully in the dark!

Unfortunately it's expensive (€5,000) and also entirely sold out but it is lovely

Ooh, shiny

Yep, those are onyx globes, the right one with indices so you can see what time it is in half the world, the left one the constellations currently above you

And that is indeed a tourbillon down there at the bottom

Aaaand... it costs about a quarter million euros

I'm not buying one because the 47mm case is a bit too big for me, yeah, that's the reason, just a little too big, no other reason

In Ireland, a man called "Prawo Jazdy" racked up over 50 driving offences

Nobody could work out how he was getting away with this until the Irish police made a startling discovery

That "Prawo Jazdy" was Polish for "Driving License" and a load of Irish cops were reading IDs wrong

Polish and Irish driving licenses both have the exact same format

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce.

Watson says: I see millions of stars, and even if a few of those have planets it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.

Holmes replies: Watson, you idiot. Somebody stole our tent.

I hope they are anyway

there's only so much bronze and forest green you can look at

I think bold colours might be very in this year

4 new versions of the Carl F. Bucherer Patravi TravelTec in blue, green, yellow, and orange that have just been announced

These look kinda interesting, the Breitling Endurance Pro

Thermocompensated SuperQuartz movements, COSC rated, case made out of something called Breitlight (your guess is as good as mine), compass bezels, and a pulsometer scale

Comes in 5 different colours, you know I'm a sucker for orange