Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

pro-tip: make sure the staple gun is completely clear of pins before switching to much shorter staples

I now have a neat little hole in a chopping board

Well, I guess this was the logical conclusion of Kiwami Japan's cow liking

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t557dPspLxo

A knife made of milk with a cow handle

In more "this cat is too curious for her own good", Pissy, the cat from two doors up, managed to get herself locked in the car belonging to one door down after jumping in there without anyone noticing

She'd probably been in there for three hours before being found

She's fine though, seemed quite happy to be in there

A man was unlucky enough to be standing right outside a cheese factory when it suddenly exploded

He ended up covered in de brie

wow, I really suck at drilling holes in a straight line

gonna have to get out the drill press

Michael Bubbly is allowed, but only because he seems nice and this is the only time he seems to get any work

Also nothing by Slade is allowed, and Cliff Richard can fuck off

"Baby it's cold outside" should be banned from the radio

Not because the lyrics are a little suspect if looked at through modern eyes even though it's fine in the historical context, but because I'm sick of hearing it every twenty minutes for the two months leading up to christmas

There's a TV program on now called "The World's Most Expensive Presents" and it's just showing reason upon reason to get the guillotines out

It's a load of ridiculously expensive shit rich people give each other as christmas presents

turns out May will still be PM tomorrow, sorry to all those who bet she'd be out before the end of this year

But he didn't open it because the Jedi forbid attachments

'tis the season of LED tat

on further thought, that would just be "running an instance"

which with the stuff I do I guess makes me @maple 's Isabelle?

mod for animal crossing that replaces all the characters with fediverse people

Haven't tooted much about our hedgehogs recently because they're all having a good ol' hibernate in their little warm nests