Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

Moments in watchmaking

[interior, Rolex offices]
Boss: we need to add some sort of superlative-type adjective to "chronometer" on our watches to show that they exceed that certification, I want you to come up with one
Designer1: sure thing boss
[boss leaves the room]
Designer2: so, just slap "superlative" on the dial?
Designer1: fuck it, that'll do. lunch?

I don't know what a "petscop" is and at this point I'm almost afraid to ask

With spring officially sprung and all the hedgehogs coming out of hibernation I wrote a thing about how to help them out

https://samtheoctopus.neocities.org/hedgehogs.txt

Happy Easter to all my bun friends! 🎉

Also non-bun friends, but especially bun friends!

J. Robert Oppenheimer invented the "Atomic Martini"

According to bartending legend, he hid a bottle of Vermouth in the Trinity nuclear test, thereby ensuring that, when the device exploded, the particles of vermouth were spread across the atmosphere of Earth

The recipe for an Atomic Martini is to add gin to a glass, wave it outside for a bit so to add the correct amount of vermouth from the atmosphere, and then it's ready to drink

I'm just wondering when I get the singing voice

'cause at the moment I can't sing for shit

The other day when I was cleaning up after the hedgies (mucky lil buggers they are, spreading their food everywhere, but I love 'em) a pigeon came to the bird feeder right next to me for some food and to say hello

I think I'm turning into a disney princess

Mapple watch: like an apple watch but instead of siri it's @maple with a card catalogue

🥚 verbis

Rainbow G-SHOCK!

MTG-B1000RB, limited edition, ion plated for nice rainbowyness

https://www.casio-watches.com/basel/en/product/g-shock/mtg-b1000rb.html

If the eunomia project really cared about fitting in to the ethos of the fediverse they'd have tooted the communist manifesto and made a fursona already

Good news from Notre Dame, the bees survived! 🐝

https://edition.cnn.com/2019/04/19/europe/notre-dame-bees-fire-intl-scli/index.html

octopus loves all critters

Hedgie in colour!

This one was out really late last night so we caught it in colour!

It's my dream to be referred to in a government report with the phrase "we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling octopus!" and I will not stop shit-stirring until that happens

Honestly I think we should thank the EUNOMIA project

I haven't had this much fun at the expense of a terrible fediverse-related project since hiveway