Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

octopus 🐙

Yeah, over here we don't bother with complex political analysis, we just go by what the local bookie's saying

With Trump backing Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson for the Conservative leadership the betting odds of him getting the job have dropped considerably

Still in the lead, but the odds have dropped

@maple carrying a bunch of maplebots around that are clinging to it like opossums

Rapidly transitioning to the Peppa Pig theme tune when the cops turn up at something you're DJing for is good praxis

the vengabus is coming

there shall be no escape

Favourite WH40K headcanon: orks that have heard of camouflage and its ability to make you blend in to your surroundings for sneaky gitz stuff but they only got the "plants" bit and so are driving around in vehicles painted like a hippy's VW campervan

One of the first instances of sending nudes, 1828, painter called Sarah Goodridge painted a miniature rendition of her tits and sent them to Daniel Webster

Said painting below, it's a pair of tits

watching the latest basics with babish video and they're measuring water in grams like absolute monsters

the frozen peaches circlejerk is powered by a wanker rotary engine

an app developer deciding not to support a certain server is not censorship you ridiculous wankmuffins

I judge everything by the four core criteria style, control, damage, and aggression

Oi, Vacheron Constantin, this doesn't need "blockchain", it only needs a standard fucking database

https://watchesbysjx.com/2019/05/vacheron-constantin-blockchain-certification.html

I'm probably going to regret asking this but what's a "jovan"?

wearing a clock around your neck like flava flav but it's actually a rack mount atomic clock

I don't have the neck strength for that but it would be a look

I should get a decent cribbage set

When I was younger (much younger) I always used to see a couple of guys playing cribbage up the pub, don't see that any more

We should make cribbage a thing again

bloke carries the mast of the boat over his shoulders teach goes "JUST LIKE CHRIST ON THE CROSS!", no teach, that's just how you carry a fucking mast, how the fuck else are you going to carry the fucker?

he's out there for three days, teach goes "JUST LIKE CHRIST DID!", no, that's clearly not a direct correlation, this dude is trying to catch a fish and jesus fucked off on a long weekend, that's the full extent of the similarity here

amazon suggested I buy a copy of the old man and the sea and it reminded me how much I fucking hated that section of my english lit class

the book's fine, story of a bloke fighting a fish, kinda wanted the fish to win but whatever, good book

what I hated was the constant "THIS IS A CHRIST ANALOGY"

computerfairi.es: basically the fediverse version of that island in japan populated by hundreds of bunnies