Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

🦔 comin to boop yr snoot!

cw eye contact

"Seal Team tells the story of an orphan seal who spends his days off the coast of South Africa eluding great whites until he decides to assemble a scratch team of like-minded seals to turn the tables on the sharks."

Starring J. K. Simmons, Jessie T. Usher, Sharlto Copley, and... the singer, Seal

This... This is a shitpost right?

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8456190/

Considering Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has said he'd "rather die in a ditch than ask for an extension on brexit"... crowdfund for a digger to put a ditch in front of parliament and call his bluff?

Wyatt, I am rolling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkjRUGlp-94

"does this restaurant have a Michelin star?"
"nah, got loads of tires dumped out back though"

we can jort if we want to
we can leave your friends behind
'cause your friends don't jort
and if they don't jort
then they're no friends of mine

WIR JORTEN!

they should really rename "diver's bezel"s on watches

times I've used them to time dives: 0
times I've used them to time stuff that's cooking: many

Ooh, shiny, Bell and Ross have just announced the new BR05 collection

Really quite like these

Altogether very Gerald Genta-y

yeah, while y'all are going on about your sony direct or microsoft switches or whatever I'm playing games you could play on a teletype, this is how I roll, as the youths would put it

the trek game in the bsdgames package is actually surprisingly compelling

tired: parasols are sun umbrellas
wired: umbrellas are wet parasols

if everyone could agree on just, like, two types of disposable battery to use that'd be great

sitting here on a pile of AA, AAA, A23, AG0, 2032, and 2025's

there are two hedgehogs outside having what can only be described as a massive row

this is what they sound like when they're arguing

NOT A GOOD START BORIS

wereslugs

every full moon: "well, I ain't doing shit tonight"

it has a roof!

also, something for @noelle , the Bvlgari Serpenti Misteriosi Romani

you lift up the little snek's head and there's a watch under there!