Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

🦔

This is going to be a "sam gets entirely hacked off at tech day" I'm sure of it

Stuff that's been having problems:
Trackball
Answer Machine
Laptop webcam

If that printer so much as looks at me funny today I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I'LL *angery octopus noises*

The Queen did her speech to the nation while wearing green

This has resulted in exactly what you'd expect

(collection of images follows, all showing the Queen photoshopped to be wearing various t-shirts)

reggie's out in the garden enjoying the sunshine

🦔 !

for non-UK people, I am not making that last bit up

this picture of Ed Miliband eating a sandwich pretty much killed all his hopes of getting elected

it was a simpler time

seriously, it's only just coming up to when we'd normally have a general election since 2015 and in that time we've had two extra general elections, three prime ministers, brexit, and a wide range of other shit

but no, apparently it would have been chaos with Miliband

also he couldn't eat a bacon sandwich properly

I'm so glad the UK voted for David Cameron in 2015 instead of Ed Miliband with all the chaos that would have caused

what?

*someone whispers in my ear*

oh

oh no

I will never not pronounce sql as squirrel

(comparitively) SMOL HEDGIE! 🦔

having a corporeal form is like, way overrated

they're establishing hedgiemony

Well this looks kinda cool

https://selinstrument.com/mkioverview/

Wristwatch made of grade 5 titanium, very innovative bracelet design, water resistant to 600 ATM, and just generally looks like you could drive a tank over it and not cause any damage

Hella expensive though

It's autism awareness day!

Also your semi-regular reminder that autism speaks and their puzzle piece bullshit can fuck right off

Also if Sinn would like to send me some swag for shilling their brand on the social medias then please feel free

Sinn also make a watch designed for firefighters

This is the EZM 7, the colour coded sections on the bezel display the amount of time firefighters can operate using various types of specialised breathing equipment

It also features their temperature resistant oils which improves rate stability at extreme temperatures

Some of the watch blogs are posting articles on the Sinn EZM 12 because of... current events, so fuck it, here we go

This is the Sinn EZM 12, a super cool watch they released a few years ago, designed for use by emergency medical personnel

It's got two timing bezels, one of which is marked with the "golden hour" and "platinum ten minutes" which I'm informed means something to medical people

It's also got a pulsometer and is really easy to take apart and sterilise with minimal tools

Good news! Sam the Octopus is now sponsored by RAID: Shadow Legends!

I've never been much of a mobile gamer, but, forget everything you think you know about mobile games because...

APRIL FOOLS!