Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es
- Pronouns
- They/Them
- Species
- Octopus
- Status
- Wiggly
- Gender
- 418 I'm a teapot
Admin
Hedgehog wrangler, cat feeder, octopus whomst love smol critters
"i never thought someone could be such a watch nerd and yet here you are" ~ @maple
Joined Oct 2017
Sam the Octopus
boosted
#Mastodon vetrans, it is your responsibility to take these newcomers and teach them the sacred ways of the herd.
They must know of the 🅱️ , and the oats, and the yams, and how to spell gameing. The awoos and the toots and the rotating coyotes, eternally spinning. Someone must teach them of Gargamel 
and what we do in this house. They must be introduced to the witches and the commies and the furries and the trans folks.
Let the people share our rich heritage!
Last time we had a twitter influx we had people asking which the queer instances were so they could join them
The answer, of course, is all of them
Grr... Heating broke
It's cold
Huey Lewis would have you believe that it's hip to be square
But @HTHR@cybre.space makes a compelling point that it's even hipper to be hexagonal
Grr... Can't get cmus working inside termux
I wanted to listen to The Space Adventures of General Mibi in a far more authentic feeling music player
Reggie (a cat) has a new fun thing to do
He lifts up one corner of the door mat and drops it so it slaps against the floor
It's quite loud
He does this repeatedly any time he wants something so we'll go out and check on him
He's not even our bloody cat
Huh, one of my toots is going around at the moment and people are actually adding an attribution at the bottom
That's really nice, completely unnecessary but really nice
For future reference I consider any toots I make to be public domain so there's no need for anyone to add attribution but that's lovely
Sam the Octopus
boosted
The Dumbo octopus also has an adorable genus name, Grimpoteuthis†. They're bottom-feeders, spending most of their time a few cm off the sea floor (about 3000-4000m deep) looking for snails, worms, etc. 
† I genuinely don't know what the "grimpo" part refers to - it may be someone's name, or it may be related to γριπάομαι, "to be contracted", referring to how the octopus's tentacles appear to be shortened (they're actually just joined together with skin, like webbed fingers).
Sam the Octopus
boosted
Welcome, new people, to MASTODON!
Here's your complimentary fursuit, copy of the Communist Manifesto, pineapple, bag of oats, pair of jorts, and the rest of the memes that have popped up and I've forgotten about
Around here emoji are emojos, tweets are toots (unless they're called something else), retweets are boosts (likewise), and twitter is birdsite
Please feel free to visit the petting zoo, we have robosquirbuns, catfoxes, dragons, kobolds, sharks, and all manner of other creatures to pet
Due to being an octopus, I can offer 8 
at a time!
Quote of the day: "Lettuce is just crunchy water" - Tom Scott
Tried explaining Mastodon to my sister the other day
"So what sort of people are on it?"
"Oh, all sorts, we've got a robosquirbun, a catfox, various sharks, dragons, and kobolds
Oh and some shapes as well"
"Keep taking the tablets, Sam"
If I'm ever in a Brewster's Millions situation I'm gonna hire all of you to shitpost full time
text chat stuff
Fuck discord, fuck slack, fuck matrix, fuck irc
Let's just all telnet into a server somewhere and use talk/ytalk or something
My social security number is
457-55-5462
Also not mine, that one belongs to Todd Davis the founder and CEO of LifeLock, a company that does personal fraud prevention
He published his SSN in an ad campaign promoting his company's identity theft prevention service
His identity has been stolen at least 13 times
My social security number is
092-28-5621
Well, not mine, but it's somebody's probably
The individual in question may have been a regular at rubber dinghy rapids
https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/11/09/british_teenager_car_bomb_dark_web/
Here's an associate editor of the Merriam-Webster dictionary on what the correct plural of "octopus" is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFyY2mK8pxk
All of those are acceptable, but the preferred term is SQUISHY TENTACLE FRIENS
Mastodon in space would be particularly good for this reason: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1Sq1Nr58hM
- Pronouns
- They/Them
- Species
- Octopus
- Status
- Wiggly
- Gender
- 418 I'm a teapot
Admin
Hedgehog wrangler, cat feeder, octopus whomst love smol critters
"i never thought someone could be such a watch nerd and yet here you are" ~ @maple
Joined Oct 2017
