Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

this is not going on my Extremely Powerful Playlist of music to play while doing a video game, but it's still a bop

https://youtu.be/EAvYUm57vI8

"tropical house" remix of a splat2n song, nice and summery

CATULLUS, EVERYBODY.

like i said. you can probably find that on youtube in the comment section lmfao

(cont'd)

In fact, my poems have real fire and flow,
sure, they're lovey and more than a little sexy -
they'll turn you on, and I don't mean in just horny teenagers,
but in those hairy old dudes that have to chug viagra the rest of the time.
Because you've read about my countless hookups, you think I ain't a man?
I'm gonna facefuck and assfuck you.

Pēdīcābō ego vōs et irrumābō, aka

I'm gonna facefuck and assfuck you,
Aurelius you twink and fuckboi Furius,
and all y'all who think that just 'cause my poems are lovey-dovey
that I should be ashamed of them.

Sure, a poet can be all straight edge and uptight,
but his poems don't gotta be in any way. >

i actually have enormous fondness for catullus 16 not because i think it's good poetry, but because it's that type of delightful moment of history i love so much where you just go "look! humans is the same!"

if you translate it into more modern vernacular honestly it would read exactly like an angry youtube comment

oh god now i just imagined a big dramatic boss fight with an ominous chorus chanting latin in the back except it's catullus 16 and i'm fucking dying. how do i get in contact with whoever writes and produces devil may cry, i feel like they need to do that

note: this is catullus 16. it is nsfw https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catullus_16

spoonie culture is taking selfies in the waiting room

cw for selfie, eye contact, snapchat filter that put a butterfly on my head

listen in my defense, look at this shit

i don't wanna get out in this fuckery, do YOU?

at least i can coordinate around my cute umbrella i guess grumble grumble hiss groan

my schedule says "you gotta get up and get ready for your doctor's appointment"

the weather says "stay inside and play splatoon forever"

oh man that seems like a cool game but i know like. three people? on here

...fuckit, new game i can do

reply and i will randomly assign you a dessert and/or dish of food that i think suits you based off of glancing at your profile

it's just me dramatically yelling WILL NO-ONE RID ME OF THIS TROUBLESOME UTERUS outside the obgyn honestly

allyship is supporting surgeries and therapies of transplanted uterus etc. into those that are transitioning and want them,

while also knowing you're off the table as a candidate to donate not because of any personal convictions but because if someone else got this fucking bullshit i'm pretty sure it would be violating lemon law and fair goods acts in at least 15 states

listen

it's not my fault that Anakin "Vader" Skywalker

a) is a bratty sub of the highest order

b) should not be in charge of anyone including himself and eventually comes to realize this

if the non-english-major nerds are staring at that punchline, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wife_of_Bath%27s_Tale#Female_sovereignty

also pls note this line in the synopsis:

>The Knight responds by saying that the choice is hers, an answer which pleases her greatly

it just works y'all

i was going to write a longer, involved thoughtful post about shipping and social justice and writing fanfic and the intersection of all of these things etc in meditative pondering about how i strive to be thoughtful in certain ways,

and then i realized i can really just summarize a lot down, so:

how do i ship anakin/padme?

well the chapter in my pet fanfic where anakin/vader and padme begin their reconciliation is going to be titled "the wife of bath's tale"

so there's your plot bunny of anakin/vader looking back and Realizing (tm) "oh that's when i stopped being a real person to obi-wan, who was in charge of taking care of me, wasn't it :')"

and if you want to write an essay instead, pls consider how vader's redemption hinges on his son recognizing that a person relying on lifesaving prosthetics is still a person and worthy of love/respect/being humanized as such