bev! @TonicBH@computerfairi.es

Considering its meme status these days, is it wrong to listen to Out of Touch on a day that's not Thursday?

Late last year, I figured out that clearly I wasn't a cis male and probably lean more non-binary/femme.

I was hoping by now this would lead to me truly expressing who I am in person, but I still hesitate.

It's getting to a point where I'm having a hard time hiding it anymore, and it's frustrating.

I wish I could be myself.

There's a point where the whole gender thing can't be hidden away forever, and I keep thinking of the consequences if I ever decided to reveal it.

It's a high chance they'd be okay with it, but there's a nonzero chance that this could damage things considerably if I even hint towards it.

Thus I hide it away and never speak of it to my family.

My aunt from Vegas is visiting for the next two weeks.

Last night, while everyone else had a considerable amount of drinks, a sober me was talking with my aunt about life, family and how I felt restrained from how I wanted to express myself.

I was hinting towards gender stuff but didn't explicitly say, and even a few months later I hesitate ever talking about it to family.

I realize I tend to follow some people who have good goth/punk looks and I've always imagined if I could pull it off

probably not

I genuinely would love to give these posters a proper home, but I don't know if there's any demand for that stuff.

For a while I've had some posters rolled up in my room that I had no idea what they were.

Today, I found out I have a Kirby 20th Anniversary poster, a Fallout New Vegas poster, and oddly, a poster for some GFW Radio reunion?

I seemed to get a lot of junk from PAX.

It's 6AM and christ my back is sore.

I need some cuddles and comfort right now

it's weird, I was so tired tonight that I figured I'd get several hours of unbroken sleep.

turns out I only got 2-3 before being awake again. dang.

Went through the effort of updating some more old blog posts.

Then I realized it's been four years since I wrote about some dumb video game-related food item.

I need to change that.

went out to get some stuff done and already I'm outright exhausted.

hate feeling so out of shape

I've published about 160 things on my blog over the course of 8 years.

I honestly am amazed I've kept at it for so long.

it's weird that I wrote an article in 2013 about some dude making a pirate game in the Build engine, then a hard pivot into politics as that same guy later made the infamous "Quest for Saddam" game.

My second year of blogging and I decided to write about *that*.

I turn on my TV for the first time a while, switch the input to my 360, which immediately turns on the system.

I was totally not expecting that, what the heck

Looking at Switch Lite colors made me have a terrible flashback where I once had a pink DS lite, which I literally refused to use until I traded it in for a black model.

Nowadays color doesn't matter, give me the pink switch lite, who cares