Angela Quinton @aquinton@computerfairi.es

She’s up and im a mess

My coach told me she thinks I could handle running the 100km course at Black Canyon next year. I want to do it but I don’t know by what metrics I would decide whether or not it’s safe for me to go back to America. January 2024 isn’t that far away. I don’t have much hope that things will stop getting worse by then, much less get better.

Full moon in two days. It starts the day before for me and I can already feel it.

A brief chat with a friend where we vent about stuff and then mutually acknowledge the relief that comes from being able to vent? That’s brain magic, baby

I won't be making any more trips to the United States at any point in 2023. It's not worth the terror.

They’re done and about to be shipped!

#werewolf #creaturefx #cosplay

Bad brain weather is not a catastrophe because I have friends and family who believe what I say about myself, even if they don't understand. Though some DO understand, and I hope they feel less alone having read this.

This sounds insane. It sounds like a coping mechanism. But I’ve felt like this too strongly in too many ways for too long to just be telling myself an iconoclastic fantasy story for the sake of comfort. I’m real. I just want to be me.

Every image I boost, every monster suit or costume part I post, is me trying to put together a picture of what I am. Trying to reconstitute the magazine from a ransom note made of cutout letters. There’s a face under this woman’s strange cheeks and big forehead and I want to KNOW IT

There is something under that mask that is more real than most of what I do every day, and I’ve never seen it. It’s not angry or scared or vengeful. It looks and feels like a monster but it’s not malignant. It’s just trying to be seen.

“Angela, a werewolf has to look like a human at least part of the time, right?” Yeah. That’s part of why the allure of lycanthropy is so strong to me. The secret. Masking as a survival trait. But my mask is stuck to me all day every day and right now I want it GONE

i feel so uncomfortable in my human skin. i just don't want to be this thing

me pre-HRT / me after 4 years HRT

Josef of FX Creator is making me silicone werewolf feet to match the Immortal Masks head and hands I already own. The one on the left is finished except for the hair; the other shows a darker paint scheme that will be lightened to match. I’m really excited about these! Having good stompers will really complete any costume I make with silicone partials.

Josef’s site: http://fxcreator.eu/product/short-silicone-monster-socks

#werewolf #creaturefx #cosplay

I yawn. A glimpse of a mouth full of yellow fangs. A shiver of fur across my forearms. Lights out. Glimmer of tapetum lucidum. Goodnight.