Aura V. @auravulpes@computerfairi.es

Part of my fear in talking to these people, incidentally, is the fact I still come off as male and I'm worried my presence probably won't be wanted. I mean, I'd still probably worry about the latter if I woke up in a female form tomorrow, but the fact I come off as male just makes it that much worse for my brain. That and, well, most people don't tend to like strangers coming up outta nowhere and talking to them, do they?

Incidentally, of those folx from PHP, one of them I actually wanted to talk to, but was too intimidated. She was the kinda girl with dyed hair that I see and think "I bet she'd be cool to hang out with" but am too scared to actually talk to. That's girls with dyed hair for me: probably cool, but scary. You pretty much have to talk to me. (IRL, that is. On here, well...if you want *actual* talking, it's the same story.)

I don't make friends. I end up with them. This is the story of my life.

You may remember a few months ago when I posted a picture of me in a halloween costume. I was going out with some folx that night, specifically, folx I met in PHP. The second day I was there, I talked in the lobby with a guy who had to leave early the first day. Later, in the PHP room, he was talking with someone I'd met the previous day. Next thing I know, I hear my name. Shortly after, I get summoned to join them. The next week, we went to a club together.

One of my current close friends? She was the one who started talking to me the first semester I was at UTA. By the next semester, we were sitting outside the ERB talking late at night. My current best friend? Her boyfriend and president of a club she attended. That's where I met him (after an invitation from her) and, well, 3 months later, he was moving in with me.

I don't make friends. I end up with them. Seriously, I have no real idea how to actually make a friend. I kinda just ended up with all my friends. I mean, hell, my best friend for the longest time? Back in third grade, when he first moved to my school, I did something to him out of spite that could have killed him. By 5th grade, we were friends, and by 9th grade, we were best friends. With someone I could have killed (sorta) on purpose.

"Wait a second, there are no foxgirls in this game!"

I HAD TO INSTALL PLASMA MOBILE TO GET THE DAMN THING TO BOOT AGAIN! FUCKING PLASMA MOBILE! I HAD TO INSTALL FUCKING ALPHA SOFTWARE JUST TO GET MY PHONE BOOTING! HOW DID I SHIT THINGS UP THAT BADLY?!

You know, I see so many of you on here working on cool technology projects, doing all this cool stuff with hardware, and here I am, spending 5 hours just trying to get my phone to *boot* again. This has been a frustrating 5 hours with no good conclusion other than "Well, I can get calls and texts...I hope. Good enough for today." *sigh*

You know, as someone with depression, I find Dan Olson's video "How to cook: Eggs with depression" to be amusing, but inaccurate. Honestly, it's more like:
1) Decide you want to cook eggs
2) Pull out pan
3) Decide you really didn't want eggs all that badly and go back to bed

"BREAK OUT THE TITTY SPEED GUN!"

So, I know I said I needed to do this four days ago, but I finally made an appointment to talk to a doctor about my testicle problems. Hopefully, thursday, we get some answers (and hopefully no bad news)

Seriously. Give me an hour, and I'll be right back to sober. What the fuck? Who designed this. That alcohol was disgusting and I can't even get anywhere near drunk off the amount I have?! Fucking hell.

Me, pre-drinking: I should make sure I don't accidentally start going out and causing trouble if I get drunk.

Me, post-drinking: I wonder what my BAC is about anyways. *Checks* Are you fucking kidding me?

I had 15 mL of whiskey. It was disgusting. The highest my BAC'll get? ~0.02%. And that's a perfect storm situation for *45 mL*. My BAC probably topped out around 0.01%. I'm nowhere near drunk. According to the internet, I'm lucky to be feeling *any* effects whatsoever.

It's not even 15:00 and I'm considering getting drunk. Like, actual drunk not "uwu I had some alcohol" drunk. I know it's a bad idea, and I probably won't, but the fact I'm considering it should give you an idea of how shit my day's going.

Well, this is a morning. Fuckin', I'm pretty sure I've got a varicocele, and I'm currently lying in bed trying to deal with the pain from that rather than going to class. Additionally, my phone's updated to Android 10, which is completely throwing me off. The morning could be much worse, but fucking hell it could be better