Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@TheGibson maybe if you pay your taxes then we'll let you have a vote

@TheGibson I'm still saying the queen should revoke your "declaration of independence"

*queen lizzy voice*"No, one is taking care of this shit"

@Thomas *puts "As Slime Goes By" into the queue* will do mate

...wasn't there an apple thing not that long ago? I'm sure there was one not too long ago

"Hey sam, can you help taking down the old shed?"
"YEAH" *grabs axe and chainsaw and fun toys*
"cool, we're giving that one to a friend so if you could help carefully taking it apart so they can put it back together that'd be great"
*looks at axe and chainsaw and fun toys* :(

@kaylee 501 Not Implemented

@maple *pets and hugs*

Okay, so I have to put this on imgur because image uploads aren't working here at the moment due to a certain service that shall be named as wasabi

https://imgur.com/Q9PzosG

Caption: Newspaper clipping with headline "Mastodon yells at cloud", the image below that is of the fluffy elephant friend yelling at a cloud above superimposed with the wasabi logo

Work in an office with a load of obnoxious iPhone fanboys?

Stop their phones from working (while not affecting android phones) by flooding the place with helium!

https://www.reddit.com/r/sysadmin/comments/9si6r9/postmortem_mri_disables_every_ios_device_in/

@bunnylyn woo! gratz!

Okay, real talk, why is that guy who wrote an infiniminer clone on all the new phones these days?

@Anke yep, this is an actual thing that's happening

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brexit-uk-summit-why-join-eu-balkans-serbia-albania-berlin-process-a8347111.html

"UK government to host summit on why other countries should join the EU"

@BatElite being able to hug multiple people at the same time is the best thing about being an octopus

@noelle retcon: it went through his shoulder and then into his leg

Watson was a contortionist, you see

This looks neat, interactive tool for writing linux pipes

https://github.com/akavel/up

@maple oof, agreed

It's getting cold out now, I wanna give my hedgie friends lil woolly hats and jumpers but I know they'd have no idea what to do with them

@trashyfins@chomp.life ah, now you get to have the adventure of MAC spoofing so you don't have to put in ridiculous amounts of personal information but just clone the MAC of some poor sap that has!