Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.

The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner.

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

@Scarly @maple bubbly weird flavoured coffee

@Gargron also applicable to British Rail

@maple > cat robots.txt

maple
maple
also maple

@noelle "oh god, everyone, brace for pun"

Oh hey, this is neat, G-SHOCK are doing a collab with Gorrilaz

https://www.gshock.com/watches/gorillaz-watches

4 limited edition watches (1000 of each worldwide), prices from $120-170

If you're in the USA and eligible to vote then go out and vote on Tuesday

Is it going to stop the march of fascism? No, but it will mildly annoy them so take five minutes out of your schedule and put some little marks in boxes

The nazis will still be available for you to punch later

@maple ooh, that would be good

with an api to just return a randomly generated insult

"I don't care about you enough to actually think about what insult I want to use, so here's a random one"

@maple basically just have fun combining words, like... infuriating dick-mackerel

@maple here's some for your corpus; fuckstick, jobby, cockwomble, wankbasket

@maple baltimore?

@maple has a turbo button that speeds her up and turns her into turbo outbun

@natalie@masto.ninja that's just science