Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

while in office, Barack Obama was most often seen wearing a Jorg Gray 6500

this watch was bought for him as a gift from his security detail from the secret service gift shop

there are two things we learn from this: 1, Obama made a point of wearing a gift from his employees, which is nice

2, the united states secret service has a fucking gift shop

"while awaiting trial for trying to kill the president, come through the gift shop for a memento"

@Gargron "fuckity bye"

@maple ready grek

@maple the meal between ??? and lunch!

i made a thing

I have a new favourite conspiracy theory

http://pigeonsarentreal.co.uk/

Say what you like about Jim Mattis (and there's a fair bit to say) but his resignation letter is a fucking masterpiece

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/dec/21/jim-mattis-resigns-as-defense-secretary-letter-in-full

@sydneyfalk @sargoth hey, everyone, the vault's in the basement, if we level the building it's going to take forever to dig it out

@inmysocks those are just a recipe for "you're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off" situations

wired: breaching ram
furry: male sheep knocking down a door, which would also be a breaching ram

tired: lockpicks
wired: breaching ram

stealth is overrated

@wilbr @Taweret@octodon.social he could try

I'm imagining a Mr and Mrs Smith type situation

"lovely poisoning attempt dear, very fine sleight of hand with the bottle"
"quite appreciate your handywork with that bomb this afternoon"

@Taweret@octodon.social hey, I can't help it if garak is eminently marry and fuck-able

@Taweret@octodon.social Garak, also Garak, one of the Weyouns

qwerky birb

@InspectorCaracal to be fair he has also donated reverse-osmosis filters to the schools so that the water there is drinkable

which doesn't actually fix the problem

seems to be a running theme with him, giving people all these things that don't solve their problem at all and expecting them to be all "oh thank you sir, you're our hero, please let us blow smoke up your arse"

huh, elon musk has apparently donated a load of laptops to the Flint, Michigan school system

Think the kids would have probably preferred potable water though...