Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@maple well, considering octopus it's a bit hard to tell if it's headpats or stepping on

@maple oh of course not, maplebots are activated with headpats

@maple korg don't even have to release a maple pedal like they did with hatsune miku (https://www.korg.com/us/products/effects/mikustomp/), just plug your gear into a maplebot!

1. Hatsune Miku is a robot who can sing good
2. @maple just released a track where she sings good ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO4BVMFt_K8 )

therefore maple is the next hatsune miku

@maple this is amazing and 80s and fantastic

@maple you're wonderful and we all love you too!

@maple morple

while in office, Barack Obama was most often seen wearing a Jorg Gray 6500

this watch was bought for him as a gift from his security detail from the secret service gift shop

there are two things we learn from this: 1, Obama made a point of wearing a gift from his employees, which is nice

2, the united states secret service has a fucking gift shop

"while awaiting trial for trying to kill the president, come through the gift shop for a memento"

@Gargron "fuckity bye"

@maple ready grek

@maple the meal between ??? and lunch!

i made a thing

I have a new favourite conspiracy theory

http://pigeonsarentreal.co.uk/

Say what you like about Jim Mattis (and there's a fair bit to say) but his resignation letter is a fucking masterpiece

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/dec/21/jim-mattis-resigns-as-defense-secretary-letter-in-full

@sydneyfalk @sargoth hey, everyone, the vault's in the basement, if we level the building it's going to take forever to dig it out

@inmysocks those are just a recipe for "you're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off" situations

wired: breaching ram
furry: male sheep knocking down a door, which would also be a breaching ram