Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@RowanBerry the baz luhrmann romeo and juliet had that

capulet saying "give me my longsword, ho!" and it panning to a shotgun

me: I'm sure 2020 can't confuse me much more

a bunch of french watchmakers carrying eggs: bonjour

@mavica @revolverocelot nor have I come to think about it

like, I've cooked stuff that involved egg but never cooked an egg on its own

@revolverocelot @mavica well yeah, so would I

Sometimes I feel like I've got a reasonable grip on reality but then something like this comes along and completely throws me

It's a twelve hundred euro watch specially created for timing eggs for egg mayonnaise

They called it the Egg Master

There is no sane universe where this should be a thing

REALITY IS CRUMBLING AROUND ME AND IT IS ALL EGG MAYONNAISE

@mavica yeah, it's very expensive for what it is

The MAT Watches Egg Master

It's a watch created for L'Association de Sauvegarde de l'Oeuf Mayonnaise (The Association for the Protection of Egg Mayonnaise)

It has a timer feature to boil the perfect egg

It's being released for this year's Eggs Mayonnaise World Championship

https://www.merairterre.com/en/accueil/204-egg-master.html

I am not making a single word of this up

@mavica *brings you some nice yummy batteries*

@envgen the reason is because they all have tea-making facilities so yeah, I can see that

hahahahahaha

y'know how rolex has long waitlists? well, they're by specific model

so now that they've released new models everyone who was on the waitlist for a sub now needs to sign up for the new waitlist

and their position on the waitlist doesn't carry over!

@mavica @revolverocelot wouldn't want to violate the gdpr by not keeping people's data around

it's only a commodore amiga if it's in charge of more than one ship at a time and has a fancy hat

@mavica not even making that up

that was his actual name and he was a massive prick

@mavica Ironically by someone named Mr. Schul

@mavica certainly soured me on pure maths

@mavica that would be correct, yes

@mavica double especially for anything with eight legs

they're the natural enemy of those of us with eight arms

(for real I'm arachnophobic though)