Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@Jo what the fuck

@squirrel It's true! You deserve all the pets!

*all the pets and scritches*

@squirrel @noelle ooh, cool

@squirrel @noelle maple with a mowhawk?

In order to help reduce emissions the Highway to Hell was replaced by a railway

It ran fine for a while until it was privatised and bought by GWR

Now, due to the wrong type of leaves on the track, you will have to make do with the rail-replacement bus service to Hell

@vantablack "I bought you a present... SO YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF"

@ajroach42 you can get a similar effect by putting your phone in a (empty) pint glass

oh hey, that new printer I got has a fax machine built in

Might have to connect it up and do fax things

no, wait, THIS IS MY MECH

@alice@elekk.xyz @minego@mastodon.social for a 100 platter you only need the one friend if you believe in yourselves

@minego@mastodon.social @alice@elekk.xyz if you have some for monday you'll be forced to take some to work with you as well, get 15

@minego@mastodon.social @alice@elekk.xyz don't know, might be cutting it a bit fine, get 4

@squirrel ...yes, I agree

@squirrel @djsundog grenadine milkshakes are delicious

@colon_three oh that's a point, yeah

We were never posh enough to have a roachbook round our way, just ripped off a bit of a rizla packet

@colon_three That looks suspiciously like a filter on the end of that

Did they just nick someone for smoking a rollie?

asda is a lot more expensive for food than I remember from last time I was in one