Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@noelle he'll have more pets than he knows what to do with

@squirrel I will, the softest cuddliest of hugs

Very sad news, Pita hasn't been well so we took him up the vet, they did tests and it turns out he has cancer

He's got maybe a couple of weeks left so we're going to be giving him all the cuddles and all his favourite foods until the time comes

@squirrel

@vantablack actually the feathers are heavier

If you have a kilo of feathers you also have to deal with the weight of what you did to those poor birds

@shel @srol I'd love it

If I'm out eating on my own the last thing I want to have to deal with is people wanting to have a conversation

.

@Elizafox hey, there's that kobold petting game that sounds pretty awesome

@squirrel heh, obviously my monitor is bad in the same way, 'cause it looks good on mine

SQL is pronounced "squirrel"

...

MySQL

@bob Can I pick option B?

@squirrel *good cuddly octo-pets*

@squirrel *pets the beepy maple*

@squirrel HEY I STOPPED MYSELF COMPLETING THAT SENTENCE

@squirrel You're like a TARDIS of gay

You're smol but gayer on the...

Nope, on second thoughts that sounds far too lewd

Apparently the Royal family have dropped another sprog

There's going to be fuck all else in the news for the next couple of days