Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

huh, apparently you can be angry while eating ice cream

I have no idea what today's discourse is about and I'd very much like to keep it that way please

octopus wants soff fuzzy pyjamas

there has to be somewhere that stocks pyjamas with 8 arms

May has said that a second referendum would "destroy trust in politicians"

Uh... who's going to tell her?

YARR! IT BE TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY ME HEARTIES

E'en though this accent only be associated wi' pirates 'cause Robert Newton decide t' use it in film an' it really be wes' coun'ry farmerrr

Since all the gun people keep insisting that "the right to keep and bear arms shall not be restricted in any way whatsoever because a 200 year old piece of paper says so"...

constitution doesn't say anything about bullets does it?

fantastic beeps and where to find them

name for @maple's album of potterverse related music

With brexit being a bit of a shambles, the south west has decided to secede from the UK

All rise for the south west national anthem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6V2TxJJ_bI

okay, yeah, definitely have to move the opening time for the hedgehog cafe to half seven

had two of them queuing up outside!

gofundme to send @maple and I to SPACE so we can bartend on the ISS

Instead of bullshit terms like "light vanilla" makeup should be sold by CMYK values to make everything easier

Thus spake the octopus

first hedgehog of the night at 19:45

opened the door to put the food out and saw a hedgehog sitting there as if saying "give me foooood!"

I NEED ONE OF THESE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyD7FMwhwxc

IT'S A VR BANHAMMER

IT'S MOLLUSC MONDAY 🎉

I looked at some of what people were saying about "Overlord", that film coming out soon

Apparently some people hate it because "racially integrated units weren't a thing in the American army in WWII, it's historically inaccurate for it to have a black guy in it!"

Yeah, 'cause the zombies in the film totally fucking happened

do we also have a standard order of "cheesy chips with bacon" which is that with small crunchy bits of bacon added on top?

you fucking bet we do

I am 100% sure that the british institution of "cheesy chips" is due to someone explaining nachos as "chips with cheese over them" and a brit misunderstanding and accidentally creating something amazing

Most mornings now the hedgehogs have managed to shove the food dish out of the cafe

I think they may be requesting that I put more food on it and put it back

Sadly I'm asleep when they do this

hopkins has been forced to apply for an IVA (individual voluntary arrangement, an alternative to bankruptcy) after receiving a six figure bill from losing a libel case against Jack Monroe

Couldn't have happened to a more deserving person