Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

sam is an 🐙

eggs?

Why cats are better than dogs:

Some dogs work for the police, a cat will never work with them

*pokes head out of octo-cave*
*sees the number of notifications*
holy shit
*very quickly goes back inside*

- a microSD card weighs somewhere around 0.4g
- the highest capacity microSD that's easily available is 256GB
- a trebuchet can throw a 90kg projectile over 300m

90kg worth of microSD cards is 225,000 of them

Therefore a trebuchet can throw 57.6PB of data over 300m

This would have the highest throughput of any telecommunications network ever created

emacs: I've got 8 arms and even I can't use the fucker

We need more rap music about word processors

WORDSTAR HIP-HOP

I was very disappointed to learn that a "yacht club" was for owners of boats, and not a club for the boats to shittalk their owners together

all smol mammals are good

especially hedgehogs and bunnies and squirrels

am I considering buying a switch as a three hundred quid animal crossing machine?

yes

yes I am

well shit, looks like I might be saving up for a switch

Fun fact: the can opener was invented over 4 decades after the idea of preserving food in cans

"Hey, I've come up with a revolutionary way of preserving food!"
"That sounds hella cool!"
"Yeah, you just put it in one of these cans!"
"How do you get it out again?"
"Uhh... shit"

Even if the new Gorillaz track wasn't meant as trans, it's trans now

please do not shoot the hurricane

the hurricane will catch the bullets and fling them back in your general direction

no trying to stab the hurricane either

yelling at it is fine so long as you're at a safe distance

someone me dad works with saw the hedgehog cafe and loved it

so I built another one for them

Little bits and pieces that have remained in my usual parlance because of using various comms systems a while ago:

"CHECK CHECK CHECK" - SHUT THE FUCK UP ON COMMS YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS

"sorry, say again?" - could you repeat that please

"tak" - a dash

"it can take your pulse!"

yeah, or you can use any watch, put some fingers on your neck and count the beats for 15 seconds

It's not fucking hard