Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

previous toot USA-localised:

*crinkly potato snack bag sounds*

that's a chiptune

*oblong potato frying sounds*

that's a chiptune

I'm at that stage where it feels like I'm drowning in phlegm

You wouldn't have thought it was possible for an octopus to feel like they're drowning in something but here I am, proving the impossible possible once again

Well, Finland's winning Eurovision this year, they've managed to get Darude to do it

Occasional reminder that there's a town in the UK called "Marsh Gibbon"

I'd really quite like this flu to stop kicking my arse sometime soon

get yr flu jabs people, this sucks

I'm still not entirely convinced that the Farming Simulator eSports league isn't a joke

it probably says something about me that any time I see the "st:disco" cw my mind immediately goes to a bunch of catholic saints out clubbing

More importantly, how is Carmen Sandiego?

all these people searching for her, maybe she just wants to sit down with a nice pot of tea and vent for a bit

<star trek "KAAAHHHHNNN!!!!!" but it's "WASABIIIIIII!!!!">

Just came across this image

Are... are the Germans okay?

Also probably doesn't help that Eunomia was a goddess of law and legislation rather than trust or anything which might have made some sense in context

Also, is it just me, or don't government-funded research projects named after ancient greek mythology always sound incredibly sinister?

"Ah yes, minister, EUNOMIA is coming along well..."
"Excellent...."
as they're all wearing outfits that were scrapped from the last Bond film for being a bit too on-the-nose

Given Gargamon is trying to think of ways to put together lists of "influential tooters" for some goddamn reason I'd just like to announce to all the companies out there that it's me, the most influential tooter, send me large amounts of swag please

that's how this influencer bollocks works isn't it?

bonus points* if you include cash

*bonus points redeemable for fuck all

IT'S SQUIRREL APPRECIATION DAY! 🎉

Remember to appreciate yr local squirrels! Like @maple !

bluh.

back in the land of the living, I give this particular strain of flu 0/10, don't recommend

Today's vote was the biggest defeat of the government in a vote since Charles I's trial