Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

"mabel! what's that outside?!?"
*me rolling around outside with 8 spoons*
"🤪 SPOONS 🤪"
"...it appears to be a spoon-wielding octopus"
"🤪 SPOOOOOOONS 🤪"

everyone who sees the spoons I've made have been all "ooh, those are nice, could you run me one off?"

pretty soon I will have made a spoon for each arm and I shall have to wander about waving them all around like the mildly unhinged spoon-wielding octopus I am

something like "you're deffo in heaven and done god's will and shit but we don't appoint you the title of saint"

didn't kill any younglings after that though so he's a bit more chill than Anakin Skywalker

Fun fact: St. Joshua is the patron saint of spies and other sneaky fuckers

Somewhat appropriately he's also not actually a saint by catholic standards

what's annoying is that I have three other thinkpad batteries lying around but none of them are for an x230

huh, laptop battery just shat itself

haven't been using it anywhere other than my desk for a while but I should probably get a new battery at some point

or it's the laptop gods telling me to upgrade

the pinebook pro thingy coming out some time this year does look pretty neat

ah yes, pancake day, the day I remember that none of the pans are quite the right shape for pancakes

"Skynet! Why did you nuke everyone?!?!"
*Skynet gestures towards the petabytes of trash in the facebook mod queue*
"...okay, yeah, good reason"

Facebook wants to do most of their moderation with an AI

Do you want Skynet?

This is how you get Skynet

By exposing an AI to the worst of facebook's mod queue so it naturally comes to the conclusion that humanity should be nuked

It's not that someone admitted to talking to the cops

Sometimes you have to, say, if there's a court order or if you feel the need to tell them to fuck off and die in a fire

It's the "proudly" talking to the cops

That's a bit like a hospital janitor saying that their absolute favourite thing to do in their job is to dispose of all the gangrenous limbs that have been amputated

It's weird and frankly a little bit suspect

Considering the new linens spam I think they may have misunderstood when I called this the comfiest softest of instances

more like FEDiverse am i right?!

Labour MP Siobhain Mcdonagh: “to be anti-capitalism is to be anti-semitic”

https://nyebevannews.co.uk/labour-mp-siobhain-mcdonagh-to-be-anti-capitalism-is-to-be-anti-semitic/

Yes, obviously, because according to her the jews control the... hang on a sec, who was antisemitic again?

Has anyone made a comparison site for energy provider comparison sites yet?

Fuck me there are a lot of them

all these people following me after seeing the trebuchet toots are going to be sorely fucking disappointed

Where's the cucumber?

THERE'S THE CUCUMBER!