Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

octopus clothes are a bitch to iron

8 sleeves on every shirt, takes bloody ages

I kinda want a milgauss or aqua terra >15,000 gauss or similarly ridiculously anti-magnetic watch

I have no use for a spec like that, it's not like I'm going to be wearing it inside an MRI machine or anything, but it would be kinda neat

Unfortunately my budget for "kinda neat" things is orders of magnitude less than either of those things cost

GERT BIG HEDGIE FRIEND!

For reference, the doors to the hedgehog cafe are about 10*10cm, this 'un must be at least 20cm long and 10cm wide

this is my mech, KNUK TATS

@maple does good arts

give maple money and it'll make good arts for you!

good arts like these:

The new Autodromo Group B Series 2 Automatic in Corsica Blue looks aesthetic as fuuuck

https://www.autodromo.com/watches/group-b-corsicablue/

looking around for how to make a decent beeswax polish and all these sites are popping up with "only use xyz because it's organic and natural and this other thing obviously can't be effective because it's not blessed by a magical tree fairy..."

I DON'T CARE IF IT'S ORGANIC, I JUST WANT SOME STUFF FOR POLISHING ME WOOD!

...

STOP SNICKERING AT THE BACK!

pretty sure I am indeed feeding them enough

BIG HEDGIE

🦔

*additional scoffing in Breitling*

oh wow, the iwatch has a calculator function now!

how innovative!

*snarks in Casio*

If anyone was wondering if drawing cocks in fields to laugh at people is a recent thing in England, it probably isn't

Cerne Abbas Man is a 55m high chalk figure depicting a man with a prominent erection and brandishing a club and is theorised to have been constructed in the 17th century to annoy Cromwell

Picture below, not really lewd, more your standard cock and balls graffiti

I'm seeing a lot of takes involving "Oh, I thought Britain was meant to be all about politeness and decorum!" post-stanstead penis and it's never been more clear to me that the vast majority of USAian's knowledge about the UK comes from downton fucking abbey

Reggie just had a good brushy brush and I swear to god there must be a second cat hiding in there with the amount of fluff that came out of him

someone's been very busy with a lawnmower under the stanstead flightpath for trump's visit

https://twitter.com/born_eco/status/1135156909064040449

The ravens at the Tower of London are officially enlisted soldiers in the British Army

One raven got kicked out and sent to Wales for "conduct unbecoming" after attacking and destroying local TV aerials and another went AWOL to a nearby pub

I am not making a word of that up

'e's well safe, innit

fox friend showed up!