Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

"Man chased terrorist with a 1.5 meter long narwhal tusk" was pretty high up on the list of things I didn't expect to ever read but that happened

https://twitter.com/theamycoop/status/1200513388889223169

just to let everyone know, aldi UK are currently selling massive unicorn plushies for 20 quid

like, 80cm long or something

they are lorge

I'm predicting that a lot of people will be wandering around looking for nativity scenes so they can replace all the baby jesuses (jesi? jesodes?) with baby yodas

I dream of a future where we can all have a little salami

Yeah, sure, there's no problem playing "baby it's cold outside" every christmas because "it was a product of its time" but if I go around singing "let's get a few people tied up in trees and sacrifice them to odin this midwinter solstice" which was an incredibly popular song at the time (if a lot more pithy in the original ancient norse) then I get chucked out of lidl

although showing "ease of setting things" next to a perpetual calendar is... an interesting decision

(perpetual calendars are massive pain in the arse to set)

I do enjoy when the swiss watch industry decides to take the piss out of stuff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSJ3_jGRjqs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXaloPPzpaA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mwaK69yvX0

if you reduce the temperature of a genderfluid person do they at some point become a gendersolid?

if so, does this also imply that really hot genderfluid people become gendergas?

in the UK it's illegal to handle a salmon in suspicious circumstances

also charging points are a little few and far between in the desert

considering it's armour plated I can only assume that they're trying to fill the same niche as the toyota land cruiser but I can't see any convenient place for mounting a heavy machine gun

*to the tune of the Bonanza theme song*

bun bunny bun bunny bunny bun bun bun bun bun! bun bunny bun bunny bun bunny bun bun bun bun bun bun!

*puts a cowboy hat on @mavica *

New Pacman version of the Timex T80

https://www.timex.com/timex-x-pac-man-t80-34mm-stainless-steel-bracelet-watch/TW2U32000YB.html

Same as the usual T80, but with Pacman!

Dr. Berkhan: got this disorder here that results in people reading things out of order and generally messing up where letters go, what shall we call it?

Dr. Berlin: dyslexia

Dr. Berkhan: LOL, that'll fuck 'em right up!

ALL THESE WORLDS
ARE YOURS EXCEPT
EUROPA

TO UNLOCK EUROPA SPEND 500 GEMS OR $1.99

several years of having english class at school and at no point did they ever go over the grammar for things that will/have/are happeneding in a time travel scenario