Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

imagining this orchard where all the apples move very quickly sideways

I remember being very confused when I first heard the word "crabapple"

"...do...do they have claws? 🦀 "

YOU HAD ONE JOB!

Ooh, shiny, new Seiko Prospex watches

Two tunas, two arnies, all in the "street" lineup

https://www.fratellowatches.com/meet-the-seiko-prospex-urban-safari-watches/

I do like the concept of the arnie but my wrists aren't anywhere near big enough to support a 47.whatever mm case size

I've never played it but I can confidently state that Animal Crossing New Horizons is just mastodon with turnips

News report from 4th November 2020:

...and the winner of the 2020 presidential election is, the first candidate ever to win the election as a write-in vote, coronavirus!

Really, we should have seen that coming

Now for updates on the alien invaders who are eating everyone's faces we go to Zzzzworp McGee...

imagining a @mavica cover of Take On Me where byte is just saying "beep"

beepbeepbeepbeep beep beep beep beepbeepbeepbeepbeep

🦔

the early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese

putting all the stuff needed for a beowulf cluster into a docker so you can cluster your docker things

I mean, yes, duffel bags full of money, but what on earth led to that?

how the hell did just eat (uk equivalent of uber eats) manage to get Snoop Dogg to do their tv adverts?

sea bunny

they're actually a type of sea slug but they look bunny-like and are cute

standing ovations are a weird concept

like "that was so good I'll stand up and clap at you"

who came up with that?

thinkin' 'bout the video toaster

video toaster was cool

tony hawk's pro tater

the potato cooking simulator

"so, to run this you need an emu"

"an emulator"

"nope, the bird, they're the only ones who can get it to compile for some reason"