Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

Godamnit, why did I download the animal crossing phone game?

I'M NEVER GOING TO GET ANYTHING DONE NOW

From what I understand this animal crossing pocket camp game consists of building a place where various animals turn up and hang out

This is Mastodon Admin: The Game isn't it?

Fizziwig found a box!

Plan for after winning the lotto

1. Buy empty tower block in a major world city
2. Free (or cheap as possible) rent for mastodon users
3. MASTO HOUSE
4. ???
5. ???
6. Probably awful memes

With the way the wind looks like it's blowing, I'm wondering if I should get some spare ethernet cables before the americans start ordering them in bulk and reading up on bgp

Apparently "World Hello Day" both exists, and is today (2017-11-21)

So uh... hello?

GRITSY BITSY TEENY WEENY YELLOW ANTI-SLIP MACHINEY

Added pronouns to bio because normalising that seems like a good idea

When @blackle@dev.glitch.social orders packs of playing cards they arrive consisting only of three suits; clubs, spades, and diamonds

That's because everyone knows you don't send hearts to blackle

Fun fact: The pirate accent we're all used to is in fact a mish-mash of various West Country accents (especially Cornwall, South Devon, and Bristol Channel)

This is entirely because Robert Newton used an accent like that when he played Long John Silver in the 1950 film of Treasure Island

This means that to the untrained ear everyone from the region sounds like either farmers or pirates

Well, this is dumb

https://bugs.debian.org/cgi-bin/bugreport.cgi?bug=882085

consider: anteaters

name: Sam
signs: 🚯 🚳
blood type: liquid

pronouns: don't care, he/him/his is fine
orientation: facing north
relationships: none :(
education: read a book once

occupation: nope, just visiting

hobbies: shitposting, more shitposting, looking at watches

interests: shitposting, cute things, techy shit

There's an ad campaign on UK TV at the moment about the dangers of having all your personal information on social media

It includes the line "Be careful what you share, because someone could make a lot of money being you"

*glances at my bank accounts*

Yeah, good luck with that chummer

Other sites: "I disagree with what you said, I'LL SEND YOU DEATH THREATS"

Mastodon: "I disagree with what you said, I'M GOING TO SEND YOU A CAKE WITH SNARK WRITTEN ON IT IN DELICIOUS ICING"

Next April we should really send Lance Ulanoff something

Maybe a cake with "Mastodon's not dead yet motherfucker" on it

Christmas gift idea: A nicely leather bound book of the giftee's finest shitposts