Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

watching the latest basics with babish video and they're measuring water in grams like absolute monsters

the frozen peaches circlejerk is powered by a wanker rotary engine

an app developer deciding not to support a certain server is not censorship you ridiculous wankmuffins

I judge everything by the four core criteria style, control, damage, and aggression

Oi, Vacheron Constantin, this doesn't need "blockchain", it only needs a standard fucking database

https://watchesbysjx.com/2019/05/vacheron-constantin-blockchain-certification.html

I'm probably going to regret asking this but what's a "jovan"?

wearing a clock around your neck like flava flav but it's actually a rack mount atomic clock

I don't have the neck strength for that but it would be a look

I should get a decent cribbage set

When I was younger (much younger) I always used to see a couple of guys playing cribbage up the pub, don't see that any more

We should make cribbage a thing again

bloke carries the mast of the boat over his shoulders teach goes "JUST LIKE CHRIST ON THE CROSS!", no teach, that's just how you carry a fucking mast, how the fuck else are you going to carry the fucker?

he's out there for three days, teach goes "JUST LIKE CHRIST DID!", no, that's clearly not a direct correlation, this dude is trying to catch a fish and jesus fucked off on a long weekend, that's the full extent of the similarity here

amazon suggested I buy a copy of the old man and the sea and it reminded me how much I fucking hated that section of my english lit class

the book's fine, story of a bloke fighting a fish, kinda wanted the fish to win but whatever, good book

what I hated was the constant "THIS IS A CHRIST ANALOGY"

computerfairi.es: basically the fediverse version of that island in japan populated by hundreds of bunnies

any time I hear billie eilish's "bad guy" on the radio I always expect it to segue into "we are number one"

thanks internet, you've ruined me

reggie is a good cat

BREAKING NEWS: good hedgie does a drink

🦔

"let's sand down that wall for repainting" I thought

nope, paint all ended up flaking off so had to strip the paint from the entire wall

looking at the detailed breakdown of the voting it appears that just over 50% of the people who voted in my area are complete cunts*

sucks but honestly I'm a bit surprised that percentage wasn't higher

*voted for the brexit party, conservatives, ukip, or the english democrats

Someone reminded me of the Channel 4 dating programme Naked Attraction and I really want it to be broadcast in the USA so I can watch the moral outrage they're bound to have over it

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_Attraction

Also it'll help get rid of the stereotype they have of us being all prim and proper

https://jalopnik.com/elon-musk-says-hyperloop-tunnel-is-now-just-a-normal-1835024474

Elon Musk's hyperloop project is now literally just a tunnel

His company spent two years and fuck knows how much money developing a tunnel

I can only imagine that the BFR is just a catapult at this point