Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

pretty sure I am indeed feeding them enough

BIG HEDGIE

🦔

*additional scoffing in Breitling*

oh wow, the iwatch has a calculator function now!

how innovative!

*snarks in Casio*

If anyone was wondering if drawing cocks in fields to laugh at people is a recent thing in England, it probably isn't

Cerne Abbas Man is a 55m high chalk figure depicting a man with a prominent erection and brandishing a club and is theorised to have been constructed in the 17th century to annoy Cromwell

Picture below, not really lewd, more your standard cock and balls graffiti

I'm seeing a lot of takes involving "Oh, I thought Britain was meant to be all about politeness and decorum!" post-stanstead penis and it's never been more clear to me that the vast majority of USAian's knowledge about the UK comes from downton fucking abbey

Reggie just had a good brushy brush and I swear to god there must be a second cat hiding in there with the amount of fluff that came out of him

someone's been very busy with a lawnmower under the stanstead flightpath for trump's visit

https://twitter.com/born_eco/status/1135156909064040449

The ravens at the Tower of London are officially enlisted soldiers in the British Army

One raven got kicked out and sent to Wales for "conduct unbecoming" after attacking and destroying local TV aerials and another went AWOL to a nearby pub

I am not making a word of that up

'e's well safe, innit

fox friend showed up!

octopus 🐙

Yeah, over here we don't bother with complex political analysis, we just go by what the local bookie's saying

With Trump backing Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson for the Conservative leadership the betting odds of him getting the job have dropped considerably

Still in the lead, but the odds have dropped

@maple carrying a bunch of maplebots around that are clinging to it like opossums

Rapidly transitioning to the Peppa Pig theme tune when the cops turn up at something you're DJing for is good praxis

the vengabus is coming

there shall be no escape

Favourite WH40K headcanon: orks that have heard of camouflage and its ability to make you blend in to your surroundings for sneaky gitz stuff but they only got the "plants" bit and so are driving around in vehicles painted like a hippy's VW campervan

One of the first instances of sending nudes, 1828, painter called Sarah Goodridge painted a miniature rendition of her tits and sent them to Daniel Webster

Said painting below, it's a pair of tits