Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

Some of the watch blogs are posting articles on the Sinn EZM 12 because of... current events, so fuck it, here we go

This is the Sinn EZM 12, a super cool watch they released a few years ago, designed for use by emergency medical personnel

It's got two timing bezels, one of which is marked with the "golden hour" and "platinum ten minutes" which I'm informed means something to medical people

It's also got a pulsometer and is really easy to take apart and sterilise with minimal tools

Good news! Sam the Octopus is now sponsored by RAID: Shadow Legends!

I've never been much of a mobile gamer, but, forget everything you think you know about mobile games because...

APRIL FOOLS!

one of our hedgies has decided to accessorise their outfit with some leaves!

also, bonus magpie

I had to go out to get some things and I didn't see one person wearing spiked leather

Nor did I see any heavily customised cars with lots of chrome

I'm beginning to think mad max lied to me

I am very disappointed

obviously wash your hands before and after as well

healing crystals are actually very effective at stopping you from catching coronavirus providing you lob them at anyone trying to get within 2 metres of you

tired: oats

wired: goats

I see they're getting ready to set stonehenge forward an hour for british summer time

WHO WOULD WIN?

hundreds of years of swiss watchmaking tradition

- OR -

smol buzzy quartz bois

I know I've said this before but H P Baxxter looks disconcertingly similar to John Barrowman

apologies to those working in NHS sexual health clinics for whom giving them the clap brings back unwanted memories

a small bit of my brain keeps reading acnh as assassin's creed new horizons and imagining Isabelle leaping from a rooftop to stab Tom Nook

🦔

For a steel bracelet, you can use the bowl of soapy water

For leather, use a slightly damp cloth with a small amount of gentle soap, then go over it again with just a damp cloth to remove the soap

You can additionally use some leather conditioner

For a fabric strap (NATO, ZULU, etc.) you can just sling them in the washing machine with your regular laundry

If your watch is decently waterproof (marked 50M or better) then you'll want a small bowl of hot water with dish soap in it and a soft toothbrush, if you don't know what to do with that setup then god help you

If your watch isn't, then clean it with a slightly damp cloth with a small amount gentle soap, using a toothbrush to get at the fiddly bits

Now we want to clean the strap

(cont.)

As apparently the resident watch nerd in this corner of the 'verse, here's how to clean your watch properly

It's on your wrist, it's gonna get gunk on it, if you don't clean it occasionally it's a goddamn petri dish

I'm assuming that none of us are loaded enough to own gold, silver, or gem encrusted watches, if you are then get your butler to do it

For a start, if you can, remove the strap from your watch

(cont.)

If you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise
If you go down in the woods today, you'd better go in disguise
For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain
Because today's the day the teddy bears all go dogging