Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

"DO OUR WORK FOR US PEONS"

Someone remind me why everything has to have an app?

Websites exist and are multi-platform

🦔

Come try the new milkshake approved by the royal family of the united arab emirates!

Only at Sheikh Shack

I'm bad at photoshop but maybe something like this

I'd totally not buy one because I don't have enough money

I've just had a thought that will never be put to any use

Jaeger-LeCoultre Reverso, in the medium size, with the bracelet, same dial design as the tribute but in black, with a satin-finish case and bracelet

that'd look bloody fantastic

look at their ears!

riding the fury road all matte and atomic purple plastic

in the mad max apocalypse future it'll be easy to spot the fediverse people because we'll all be wearing jorts and driving electric kei cars

humans finally make contact with what is basically god:

"Oh creator of all! We humbly ask you what is the meaning of all this you have blessed us with?"

"I just wanted a sandwich and spun up a universe to make it for me"

"...well shit"

Shit, that might actually be a decent sci-fi concept

Ridiculously advanced super long lived alien civilisation that can create universes on a whim and so any time they want anything they just spin up a universe, wait the subjectively couple of seconds for something in it to create whatever they want, and then just yoink it out of there

What if this universe was created by someone in a higher universe who mistook Carl Sagan's work for a cookbook and really wanted some apple pie

Every tank and most other armoured vehicles in the British Army are equipped with tea making facilities

This was considered necessary because previously tank crews would insist on exiting the tank to put the kettle on and kept getting shot

I am not making a word of that up

I missed this at the time, but whut?

https://www.vaticannews.va/en/vatican-city/news/2019-10/click-pray-rosary-smart-digital-device-world-peace.html

The "Click to Pray eRosary", a smart wearable rosary

That links up to "“Click To Pray”, the official prayer app of the Pope"

Apparently god is now really into the internet of things

Silica gel is actually non-toxic

The "do not eat" just refers to the packaging

I mean, still probably a bad idea to eat it but I'm not a fucking cop