Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

nothing

you can't add a vector to a scaler

annoying the bloke at the takeaway by calling the chicken pakoras "indian chicken nuggets"

too hot

octopus is melt

as an octopus I'm a big fan of more things having arms

*muttering from the side*

oh, the chips, not the appendages, never mind

so apple really did go and pull an osborne then

okay, what the hell is a memoji?

"DO OUR WORK FOR US PEONS"

Someone remind me why everything has to have an app?

Websites exist and are multi-platform

🦔

Come try the new milkshake approved by the royal family of the united arab emirates!

Only at Sheikh Shack

I'm bad at photoshop but maybe something like this

I'd totally not buy one because I don't have enough money

I've just had a thought that will never be put to any use

Jaeger-LeCoultre Reverso, in the medium size, with the bracelet, same dial design as the tribute but in black, with a satin-finish case and bracelet

that'd look bloody fantastic

look at their ears!

riding the fury road all matte and atomic purple plastic

in the mad max apocalypse future it'll be easy to spot the fediverse people because we'll all be wearing jorts and driving electric kei cars

humans finally make contact with what is basically god:

"Oh creator of all! We humbly ask you what is the meaning of all this you have blessed us with?"

"I just wanted a sandwich and spun up a universe to make it for me"

"...well shit"

Shit, that might actually be a decent sci-fi concept

Ridiculously advanced super long lived alien civilisation that can create universes on a whim and so any time they want anything they just spin up a universe, wait the subjectively couple of seconds for something in it to create whatever they want, and then just yoink it out of there

What if this universe was created by someone in a higher universe who mistook Carl Sagan's work for a cookbook and really wanted some apple pie