Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

Hey @squirrel, just wondering, are hours longer where you live?

'cause "squirrel-chan's fuck up hour" seems like a consistently inaccurate title 😛

🎶 On the first day of Christmas Rob Mueller gave to me
🎶 A Mike Flynn guilty plea

Aldi are currently selling jeroboams of prosecco

I kinda want a fuck-off huge bottle of wine but I'd be the only bugger drinking it and as strong as my constitution is I'm not sure it can gracefully handle 3 litres of wine in one sitting

LB: ONE MILLION USERS

(okay, it's less than that not counting people who have left and alt accounts, but it's still a pretty number)

My condolences to our comrades working retail and/or hospitality

The christmas music has started

As a measure of how Strong and Stable™️ the UK government is, after GQ released their Jan/Feb cover with "Election Special" written on it we're all sitting here wondering if they mean the local government elections or if they know something we don't

Apparently the UK Foreign Office is now telling governments to ignore whatever the Foreign Minister says because he's an idiot

The Civil Service may save us yet

Sir Humphrey would be proud

So, bitcoin reached 11k/coin recently

Then crashed by over 20%

The Bitcoin users are saying this is fine

Are they entirely fucking insane?

Thing I want but have no ability to make:

Console web browser with support for CSS, JavaScript, and images

Basically a modern web browser that doesn't need x running

Also it should support gopher

Y'know what? With current events being what they are I think it might be time to bring out some of the old classics

OOOOHHHHH Hitler, he only had one ball
Goering, had two but very small
Himmler, had something similar
And Goebbels had no balls at all

New! For winter! INSULATED JORTS

Everyone always talks about "military-grade encryption"

What they forget is that until the 90's British nuclear weapons were secured with a bike lock and for 20 years the US nuclear codes were 00000000

"military-grade" has nothing to do with quality, it has everything to do with being able to survive for five minutes in the hands of your average squaddie

Huh, apple staff are going to be busy for a little while

On High Sierra you can bypass the root password by... uh... leaving it blank and pressing login a few times

Fun fact: The Clangers, despite having all voices provided by a slide whistle, did actually have a script with full dialogue

LB: Soup Dragon was the best!