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Dance floor is empty? Dance with yourself. Get up and move. Close your eyes, feel the music.

I was nearly in a head-on collision with a highly trained professional driver.

Police decided that going against traffic around a double-blind curve ( _/¯¯ ) would be a good idea.

But hey, they got places to be, it's not like the laws of momentum, or any other law, apply to police when they're in a hurry, yeah?

I just gave a ride to a guy who was very unprepared to defend his position that the minimum wage shouldn't be raised.

Just went through two intersections with signals that were out.

I was strongly tempted to get out my high-vis vest and direct traffic.

This "informational speaker" for a scholarship for disadvantaged people is recounting the tale of when he ran from the police on a motorcycle because he had expired tabs and an expired/suspended/revoked license, and the police crashed 3 cars chasing after him, and then when they pitted his bike and he stands up and surrendered, that they choked the shit out of him and dug his face into the dirt and then says "I deserved it"

His stupidity was only one part of the many failures.

Fuck cops.

spoonie whining 

@wigglytuffitout what even are scientists?

And also, you know how it takes effort to get in the shower, and then it takes effort to not just stay there, soaking in the warm, until you have to slowly turn up the heat knob due to hot water limitations?

What the fuck is with that?

@maple and the recursive code that makes up the star stuff of the universe

Hot take, caps 

Jon Oliver's show is the Saturday night talk show host version of family guy.

"Talking about thing, talking about thing, cut to AND THEN YOU KNOW HOW FOLKS ARE CREEPY?"

Grossposting 

Broke: my feet smell like cheese

Woke: my feet smell like the kind of cheese that I'd eat

notre dame, current events 

@wigglytuffitout I'm just imagining a team of glassblowers all studying from books with titles like "205 AMAZING examples of stained glass throughout history"

trump tweet about notre dame fire 

@cozykaffe@snouts.online is... Is that real? And is he suggesting using dc-10?

notre dame, current events 

@wigglytuffitout my guess is that if the building is unrecoverable, they'll build a tribute cathedral with modern methods in the old architectural style.

@Nine seeing that in my head I think "cars may explode in this area" not "cars with explosives aren't allowed in this area"

Cmon, British road sign designers, get it together!

@Nine now I'm curious what the sign is. Is it just text, or is it graphical?

@jzs42069 one time when I was a kid I hit the front brakes hard just to see what would happen.

What happened was I was introduced unexpectedly to the idea that *I, too* could do a front flip!

Terrible wordplay pls don't hate me 

@muppetbutler would you say it makes you ALAmyRMED?

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Computer Fairies

Computer Fairies is a Mastodon instance that aims to be as queer, friendly and furry as possible. We welcome all kinds of computer fairies!