Tarale @Tarale@computerfairi.es

I bought myself a book full of slow cooker recipes today and I am very excited about it.

Kindergym/Junior Gym is fucking rad. I think I had more fun than the kid just watching the kid have a great time. And to think I was worried they wouldn't have anything there for an 8 month old.

I am quite displeased with the state election results.

Still furious about my mother in law and her surprise visit last night, and then the pity party she threw for herself when we got mad at her.

on the plus side, husband now starting to believe this is not senility

oh good and now she's the victim again

oh god my mother in law happened again

@isha Yeah, that's one reason I'm considering perhaps getting a diagnosis: access to resources and spaces that I don't currently have.

I'm too old for any of this to have been picked up in childhood and it wasn't until someone described a meltdown that I was like… "hang on a minute". I still don't really know, but I'm looking into it. It certainly would explain a lot. I guess I'm just going through a lot of complicated and messed up feelings about it.

I'm sure for some people it's easy to manage the reciprocity but I just… can't get it right. I don't know how to talk to people.

I know I have a tendency to take over conversations so I've just… not been talking about myself at all. I don't want to butt in at an inappropriate moment, or take over, or make something all about me, so I just… listen and be supportive and shut myself away.

I don't think I'm mean or rude or anything. I've experienced a lot of unkindness so I try not to be unkind to others. But I guess I'm also kind of weird and awkward no matter how hard I try not to be. I have a few friends but I'm very disconnected from them, especially since the baby was born. My relationships have become one-sided as I've shut myself off more and more.

I don't mean to, but I obviously put people off, so that explains a lot of… things. And when I feel the slightest bit of social rejection I go and self-isolate so that doesn't help. And it's probably going to just keep happening.

Well… if I am on the autism spectrum, as I suspect, then it explains why I never fit in anywhere. And it also kind of dashes my hopes of *ever* fitting in anywhere too.

@Xkeeper *high five*

Researching adult autism more thoroughly. Have researched what goes into getting a diagnosis and why I'd want one (I mean, besides just my uncertainty), but also just want to read more about it in general.

I am now pretty sure, but there's more research I'd like to do before I make any kind of self-diagnosis. Like asking my mum a bunch of questions about my childhood, for starters.

Started kind of using Habitica again to at least write down the sheer amount of stuff I have to do.

@BatElite I think I spent most of my last playthrough running around in my underwear with bright purple hair.

@BatElite oh i'm sure whatever hot mess you're wearing in saints row is amazing, that's one of the many excellent parts of saints row

@lizardsquid Yeah, it's nice to not feel so dog tired. I'm hoping it'll help the baby sleep better too, because we're so closely linked.

@Xkeeper morning!!