Angela Quinton @aquinton@computerfairi.es

this email arrived 6 minutes after i finished the first coat

I've been waiting all day for a delivery that is now an hour late. I'm going to cause it to arrive in the next 60 seconds by applying a coat of polish to my fingernails

I want to change. I want it to hurt. I want it to feel real. I want to have to tell myself “you asked for this” as I try to keep myself from screaming. Bone warps and skin stretches almost faster than it can grow. A trillion needle-pricks of hair sprouting. The fire in my fingertips and toes as claws grow in. I want to break this human form that’s wrapped around me like an eggshell.

i changed last night 🌕🐺💜

She’s up and im a mess

My coach told me she thinks I could handle running the 100km course at Black Canyon next year. I want to do it but I don’t know by what metrics I would decide whether or not it’s safe for me to go back to America. January 2024 isn’t that far away. I don’t have much hope that things will stop getting worse by then, much less get better.

Full moon in two days. It starts the day before for me and I can already feel it.

A brief chat with a friend where we vent about stuff and then mutually acknowledge the relief that comes from being able to vent? That’s brain magic, baby

I won't be making any more trips to the United States at any point in 2023. It's not worth the terror.

They’re done and about to be shipped!

#werewolf #creaturefx #cosplay

Bad brain weather is not a catastrophe because I have friends and family who believe what I say about myself, even if they don't understand. Though some DO understand, and I hope they feel less alone having read this.

This sounds insane. It sounds like a coping mechanism. But I’ve felt like this too strongly in too many ways for too long to just be telling myself an iconoclastic fantasy story for the sake of comfort. I’m real. I just want to be me.